Shuttleworth Says Ubuntu Can't Just Be Windows 710
ruphus13 writes "When Mark Shuttleworth was asked what role WINE will play in Ubuntu's success, he said that Ubuntu cannot simply be a better platform to run Windows apps. From the post, according to Shuttleworth, '[Windows and Linux] both play an important role but fundamentally, the free software ecosystem needs to thrive on its own rules. it is *different* to the proprietary software universe. We need to make a success of our own platform on our own terms. if Linux is just another way to run Windows
apps, we can't win. OS/2 tried that ...' The post goes on to say, 'Linux simply isn't Windows (nor is Windows Linux) and to expect fundamentally different approaches (and I'm not just thinking closed versus open) to look, feel, and operate the same way is senseless.'"
Ubuntu is just not as cool as its competitor (Score:3, Funny)
In a stunning public relations coup, Microsoft Corporation (NASDAQ: MNPLY) has successfully overshadowed Ubuntu Linux 9.04 "Juicy Jubblies" [today.com] by announcing that it is laying even more people off.
Microsoft announced new and expanded roles for remaining key executives as another several lesser, losing quitters deserted upper management. "It shows the fantastic opportunity available to everyone at Microsoft to climb seven or eight reporting levels up the org chart," said marketing marketer Steve Ballmer to pitchfork-wielding Wall Street analysts today. "If we haven't laid them off for making too much money or not kissing enough ass."
The Yahoo! deal is expected to go ahead. "We figure they'll go broke before we do. Probably." Mr Ballmer also plans to run the Yahoo! servers on Windows NT rather than FreeBSD after a similar change worked so well at Hotmail. "Some say synergy's another word for two plus two equals one, but you just have to make the value of one work for you."
Windows 7 betas have been greeted with remarkable positive press. "Of course, the betas preview the 'champagne and hookers' edition, which would be way too much for netbooks and explode users' brains. Imagine thinking those little things are computers! So we're releasing what we call Windows 7 Dumbass Edition(tm). It lets you log in and look at the shiny. Even Spider Solitaire has the ribbon toolbar! And you can buy an upgrade to the version that runs programs! It lets you do that!"
Dumbass Edition(tm) comes with pre-installed viruses to make the computer part of the Storm, Conficker and FBI botnets. "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."
However, Microsoft has indicated to its press corps, Microsoft Completely Enderlependent Analysts, to ixnay on the evensay and highlight the job openings for work on Windows 8, firmly penciled in for a 2012 release. Windows 8 will be optimised for low-end 32-core systems with a mere 16 gigabytes of memory -- 28 cores for the interface, 3 cores for the DRM and one core for everything else. "'Seven' is just so this year. I hear they'll get $DATABASE_FILESYSTEM done next release for sure!" said ZDNet marketing marketer Mary-Jo Enderle. "It'll be awesome(tm)!"
"I'm sure it'll be fine, fine," said Bill Gates, upping his hours at his charitable foundation and scheduling the sale of several more packages of Microsoft stock.
Larry Ellison of Oracle, who recently purchased Sun Microsystems, merely snickered, muttered "Java. OpenOffice." and let out a long and resounding laugh.
Mark Shuttleworth of Canonical, speaking from his castle on a crag high on a mountaintop in west London, was sanguine at Ubuntu's news being overshadowed. "I lost ten million dollars on Ubuntu last year. I'm losing ten million dollars on Ubuntu this year. I expect to lose ten million dollars on Ubuntu next year. At this rate, I'll be broke in ... sixty years."
Re:Ubuntu is not up to scratch (Score:5, Funny)
Now I'm probably just being a dumbass, but I'm a reasonably technical dumbass. Even reasonably non-technical dumbasses could do such a thing in windows.
But They Need a Story! (Score:5, Funny)
Reporter A: So
Shuttleworth: Ok, for the last time, I am going to go over this very very slowly.
*Shuttleworth writes Ubuntu and Windows on the chalkboard and puts a massive "does not equal" sign in between them.*
Shuttleworth: Ubuntu cannot and will not ever "be" Windows. I've been over this for the past two hours, can we move away from Windows/Ubuntu comparisons here?
Reporter B: But you want to be a widely used operating system?
Shuttleworth: That is correct.
Reporter B: And Windows is the most widely user operating system?
Shuttleworth: Also correct.
Reporter B:
*Shuttleworth lets out a long drawn-out sigh, massages his forehead and takes a drink from his glass of water*
Shuttleworth: *holds up two pieces of fruit* In my left hand I hold an apple. In my right hand I hold an orange. Although both are round, the two taste different and have different colors and subtle shapes
Reporter C: Hold on, an "Apple"? I'm not following you, are you saying you're trying to "be" OS X?
Shuttleworth: This press conference is over!
Re:I think he's wrong (Score:3, Funny)
However, in the short term, I firmly believe that Wine is the only way to massively increase Ubuntu's market share.
Embrace, extend, extinguish!
Re:Ubuntu is just not as cool as its competitor (Score:1, Funny)
YUM! Delicious copy pasta.
Re:United We Stand (Score:3, Funny)
Because we all know games = Good selling OS.
That's why AS400 is used in my company! Man, oh man I can't wait for Tetris for iSeries.
Re:Well, not quite... (Score:5, Funny)
Of course, Vista and 7 tried to be a $500 way of running Windows apps, while XP was a $100 way of running Windows apps. And compared to XP, Vista also needed $400 worth of hardware.
Depressing proof that it's all in the marketing.
But the $100 option meant you couldn't have "Team OS/2" in your Usenet signature.
Re:Well, not quite... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Ubuntu is not up to scratch (Score:3, Funny)
Evan only there was some sort of integration of small networks on a global scale that could be searched...
http://www.google.com/#hl=en&q=ubuntu+8.10+to+use+a+static+IP&btnG=Google+Search&aq=f&oq=ubuntu+8.10+to+use+a+static+IP&fp=KqtEvp1-d7s [google.com]
Re:Well, not quite... (Score:3, Funny)
Well, as we all know, the plural of 'anecdote' is 'data'... so I guess XP was about the same as 2000. ;)
I remember reading an article when 2000 was released, claiming that it was "the world's largest commercial software program" in terms of the amount of code. I wonder how Vista compares in that respect...
Re:Well, not quite... (Score:5, Funny)
It's still about $200 more than its worth.
Re:Well, the retail price was near $400. (Score:1, Funny)
You can get it for free at the Pirate Bay [thepiratebay.org]. ;-)
=Smidge=
Re:Well, not quite... (Score:5, Funny)
My 8 year old computer ran xp just fine... celeron 1.1 with 512 ram Vista wants that as a minimum, if that's just for the os how are you going to use it for anything else? http://www.microsoft.com/windows/windows-vista/get/system-requirements.aspx [microsoft.com]
Best use? comic relief! press the "ON" button, and look at Vista trying to squeeze itself in the RAM. the Funniest half an hour you'll get.
Re:Why Does Linux ALWAYS Get Compared to Windows? (Score:3, Funny)
Because Windows is the market leader, the 600 pound gorilla, the team to beat in the world of desktop computer operating systems.
OH I see what you did there. Windows has lost 200 pounds over the vista debacle?
Re:Well, not quite... (Score:2, Funny)
Windows is adding negative value to the system
You're saying it as if it was a positive thing.