Microsoft Attacks Linux With Retail-Training Talking Points

DesiVideoGamer writes "Over at Overclock.net, a user has posted screen-shots from Microsoft's 'ExpertZone' training course entitled 'Linux vs. Windows 7.' This course is available to BestBuy employees and will make them eligible for a $10 copy of Windows 7 upon completion." The screenshots linked show at least some creative interpretations of the state of Linux vs. Windows on a wide range of things, from media playback and video conferencing to ease of updates to (of all things) keeping your PCs "safer." Most of the claims, though, aren't concrete enough to be perfectly refuted. Writes DesiVideoGamer, "I think I now know why, when I enter BestBuy, the employees say the odd lies that they do."

Sign me up...

[Frosty Piss]

This course is available to BestBuy employees and will make them eligible for a $10 copy of Windows 7 upon completion.

I'll take the damn course if it'll get me a $10 copy of Win 7.

Re:Sign me up...

[NotBornYesterday]

"Kickbacks" is a dirty word. The Microsoft world prefers "back-end rebates" and "spiffs".

Ask Jack Schofield!

[David Gerard]

I'm thinking of buying a netbook as a second machine for net access and mobile broadband. Should I get one with XP or can I run Linux? [today.com]
M Shuttleworth

Linux has an apparently friendly front end, but is very demanding if you go any deeper. Linux is like the Mooncup: a nice idea, but messy and not for the squeamish. In fact, Linux can be likened to a Mooncup-using redhaired hippie girlfriend who lives in a house in the country she built herself from twigs and has very strong ideas on how everything should be and has all her original body hair. The sex is fantastic, but only if she thinks the astrological conditions are perfect. The house has a hand-dug latrine, so she's propped a toilet bowl on top and thinks that's "user friendliness."

No, no. You would far prefer Windows. That's like a nice normal bottle-blonde girlfriend who has a proper office job and dresses cleanly from Primark and has a sweet smile and lives in a proper bedsit and knows everyone and how to act normally and is accepted in society. She gets headaches a lot and fits of rage where she smashes everything and there's an odd smell of decaying human flesh coming from the drains and the toilet backs up every now and then filling the entire block with sewage and bits of bodies, but this is entirely normal and nothing to worry about.

My four-year-old PowerBook G4 is putting itself into sleep mode and refusing to wake up. It gives a very unfriendly beep and a black screen when it is turned on. Taking out and replacing the memory will eventually bring it to life.
S Jobs

This is a known fault in the Macintosh line, where the keyboards were dipped in vats of herpes virus before being shipped. Mac OS X is well known to induce symptoms similar to tertiary syphilis in long-term users -- ask anyone with Mac-using friends. The G4 has an old PowerPC chip, and is obsolete because Apple has long since moved to Intel chips. So at least you can run a proper operating system like Vista on the new ones.

I have a PC bought from Dell, a proper computer company, and am running Microsoft(tm) Windows(tm) Vista(tm) Service Pack 1(tm). It's the best operating system ever in the entire universe and I can do anything those annoying Mac users and Linux nerds can. And Windows 7(tm) will be even better! I don't have a problem, I just wanted to tell you this to piss off those annoying anti-Microsoft trolls who keep commenting on your Guardian column.
J Schofield

This is an excellent start to a perfect computing experience. Make sure you have only genuine Microsoft software on the system, and donâ(TM)t ever use Firefox in case your penis shrinks -- Internet Explorer 8 guarantees you will get many useful email offers for a greatly increased penis with incredible sperm production capability. Also, Google will invade your privacy and put pictures of you masturbating on Google StreetView, so only use Bing. Happy surfing!

Re:And....

[wumpus188]

I think Slashdot pretty much qualifies, no?

Re:Sign me up...

[Dyinobal]

They also prefer the word "Rimjob"

Re:Sign me up...

[Runaway1956]

Why is parent modded troll? If this were the Catholic Church, or the Church of Mormon proselytizing for members, Americans would go after them for violating our freedom of religion laws. If this were a Democratic maneuver for market share, the Republicans would be up in arms. But, it's alright for MS to recruit people to lie to consumers. Parent should be applauded for exercising restraint when he uses the word "unethical".

Reading selectively

[MaizeMan]

I'm sorry, all I got from your post something about linux and:

redhaired hippie girlfriend ...The sex is fantastic

About them saying Windows 7 "Meets Expectations"

[supersloshy]

"Aww, dangit! I got a BSOD again! Well, I knew it'd happen..."

RIM jobs

[tepples]

No, BlackBerry users are the ones who wish for a RIM job [rim.com].

this is going to be fun

[FudRucker]

i am going to go in to bestbuy every week and wear down the employees with every talking point i can muster showing Linux is better, they will be running to mcdonalds asking for employment applications after i get done with them.

Re:Sign me up...

[Anonymous Coward]

Like Windows 8...

Re:Microsoft must be desparate or

[phantomfive]

I don't know about that, but I do know when my brother was working at a Ford dealership, after about three months he was 100% convinced that Ford cars were the best cars out there. On every level. The Ford GT was better than a Corvette. A Ford Focus was better than a Toyota Corolla. The Mustang was better than any other muscle car in the world. He still didn't have much good to say about the T-bird.

A few years after he left, he is now willing to consider other cars, like the Mazda speed-3. So I don't know what they do in dealerships, but it's sure working.

Re:Linux?

[David Gerard]

The Windows 7 drinking game:

• One shot for every "ethnic" face in an install graphic.
• An extra shot if it's pasted over the head of a white person.
• One shot for every white face pasted over the head of a non-white person.
• One shot for every program with the Office 2007 "ribbon" toolbar stuck on it completely inappropriately.
• One shot for every exciting "new" feature thatâ(TM)s been in Mac OS and Linux for the past five years.
• An extra shot if the exciting "new" featureâ(TM)s been in Mac OS and Linux for the past ten years.
• One shot every time you reboot during the install.
• One shot every time the system asks to reboot just because it feels like it.
• Two shots every time it reboots even though you said "no."
• One shot every time it refuses to let you access a file even though you, as administrator, created it.
• Drain the bottle if there's an actual feature that makes Windows 7 so much better than sticking with XP that you'll spend actual money to get it.
• A bitter mouthful every time the system blue-screens.

(Source link [today.com])

Re:Where's my debating hat..? Oh yeah, on my head.

[thetoadwarrior]

There are women on the internet. They go to Oprah.com to talk about having their periods and shopping on the computer that a man bought for them.

Re:Software Freedom Day at Best Buy

[blackraven14250]

while(marketing > quality){
quality--
}