Systemd Ditches GNU C Library for Their Own

In his typical fashion of replacing perfectly working software with useless broken-by-design crap, our dearest Lennart has decided that the time has come for systemd to gain an email program. He determined that the GNU libc was insufficient for the task of a dbus-enabled cpu hogging email client, leading to the new systemd libc: " Technically, this move makes perfectly sense, too. We are sick of supporting unstable glibc APIs and ABIs, and we believe that we greatly benefit from the fact that we now finally have everything the OS userspace consists of in one single repository. Of course, this new libc is not available to Ubuntu and other Linux distributions that have not yet adopted systemd. However, after deliberately choosing a home-grown display server (Wayland) over the generally accepted one (Mir) we decided creating an incompatible libc would be the best approach to create a strong platform following a strict release cadence."

On the bright side "We also renamed the API call creat() to create()..."

Sigh

[Anonymous Coward]

Deleting Slashdot bookmark in 5, 4, 3...

Re:

[sycodon]

Samzenpus is off his fucking meds.

Or maybe his on some unauthorized meds.

Fool me once, shame on you. Try to fool me a dozen more times, get some help.

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

[Jeremiah Cornelius]

"ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!"

Re:

[Pseudonym]

Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam.

Re:

[FunkyLich]

... please abort. The hype of most anything usually last only three days. Tomorrow will be 1st no more and we will have normality restored.

Re:

[unixisc]

With the proper /etc/hosts file, you could have filtered out all this slashdot mumbojumbo and not had to read it in the first place

Re:

[bioteq]

You sir, owe me one can of mountain dew, a new corsair keyboard and 4 acer 24" monitors.

Thank you for that. I laughed. Hard.

Re:Sigh

[mcmonkey]

Any chance the steep drop in traffic will be noticed and remembered for next April 1st?

Too much to hope for, I guess.

There is something to be said for sticking with a joke no mater how unfunny it is.

And that something is, "The joke is not funny. And becomes more unfunny each time."

Re:

[shaitand]

It's never happened before. I can't see why it would start now.

Re:

[Anonymous Coward]

What steep drop in traffic? Looks like there's plenty of you morons here whining in the comments section to keep the traffic up.

Re:

[mcmonkey]

What steep drop in traffic? Looks like there's plenty of you morons here whining in the comments section to keep the traffic up.

I usually stop by /. several times per day during the work week. However I did not return after posting the above comment.

Re:

[sconeu]

The *ONLY* classic April Fool Slashdot was OMG PONIES!!!!

All other /. April Fool jokes sucked.

Re:

[harrkev]

The thing that I totally hate is trying to figure out what is a joke and what isn't. I am not educated enough on this particular topic to know obviously if it is a joke or not. Should I just automatically assume that there will be NO news on this site today, or is it possible that some real news might actually slip through?

The whole ROT-15 fiasco certainly does not help.

Boo on you /., king of putrescence.

Re:

[Anonymous Coward]

Emphasis on "might have been". What do they think this is? Saturday Night Live?

Re:

[fliptout]

It's too hard to decode rot13 text? See ya. Maybe slashdot should post stories in this manner every day to bring up the average reader's technical expertise to the old times's levels.

Re:

[drfishy]

I just installed d3coder for Chrome. Not ideal but better than clicking links...

Re:

[Blaskowicz]

I use a command line program called, you guessed it, "rot13".

Re:

[Anonymous Coward]

WAAAAAAA they do funny things on april first I'm so sad I can't live 24 hours without news ;(

Re:

[Anonymous Coward]

The really big joke will be when the whole ROT13 bullshit doesn't go away tomorrow.

Re:

[red crab]

Its hard to believe that Slashdot editing standards have sunk so deep that they can't even write a decent troll summary in English for their April Fool's Day stories. Logged in to Slashdot after two weeks, maybe next time it will be three more weeks before i see Slashdot again.

Svefg Cbfg!

[lcam]

Fbhaq yvxr nabgure ornhebpeng gb zr!

Re:Svefg Cbfg!

[Peaceful_Patriot]

Indeed! I would also add, aoaoow elfsdolmrhb aioe ed we bwss!

Personally, I have enjoyed April 1 on /. for many years. Sometimes the jokes hit the mark, sometimes not so much. The best ones have enough grains of truth to seem plausible and there are always a few posters who take the bait. Lighten up a bit. If you don't appreciate the humor, skip this site on 4/1. Your 'site with credibility' will be restored on 4/2.

Re:

[lcam]

:) indeed

Sbe jung vg'f jbegu, fbzr bs gur yngrfg erny arjf znxrf zr jvgu rirel qnl jurer Ncevy, 6.

Cyrnfr qba'g zvfhaqrefgnaq, V zrna gb fnl gurer ner fbzr cerggl zrffrq hc arjf jr nyy jbhyq jvfu jurer hagehr.

For what it's worth, while we are all enjoying this joke...

Re:

[Draeven]

Your 'site with credibility' will be restored on 4/2.

Hah hah very funny

\0 is deadly. Kill the C stdlib!

[hackus]

Systemd creator jumps off bridge. Apparently the guy couldn't take terminating his strings any more with \0.

What is the world coming to?

Down with the C stdlib.

-Hack

Boo

[Anonymous Coward]

Do people really get fooled by these "jokes"?

Re:

[Locke2005]

I prefer to simply rot13 twice... much more secure than a single rot26!

Re:

[nightfury]

I had a hard time finding the entertainment value in this until somebody mentioned Bill Cosby in another post somewhere. Now all I can hear is "Va uvf glcvpny snfuvba Jello Puddin Paaps!" It has made today fairly more tolerable.

OMG PONIES!!!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

Nq bgnyy encuvpf Pbtfjryy HMW srngherf cebprffbe QPOJFT !!!

Re:

[statingfrequency]

Because taking 10 minutes to learn how to write a quick Greasemonkey script is too much effort.

Re:

[HaZardman27]

Absolutely. The point of a news portal such as Slashdot is that it makes it easier to find news. There should be a switch on the front page to turn off the encoder for all summaries, rather than having to go in to a summary and click the link each time.

Lame

[roman_mir]

I tried posting in binary, /. complains with this:

Lameness filter encountered.
Your comment violated the "postercomment" compression filter. Try less whitespace and/or less repetition.

BUT BUT BUT, I think the entire /. is lame right now and they have the gall not the remove the 'lameness filter'?

Jul bu jul qb V svaq guvf perqvoyr?

[sl3xd]

Tvira gur nzbhag bs fcvevgrq qvfphffvba naq snpg-fgergpuvat gung vf varivgnoyl n cneg bs nal flfgrzq qvfphffvba, V'z hafher jurgure be abg guvf vf na Ncevy Sbby'f wbxr - gbqnl'f qngr or qnzarq...

Ok seriously

[Sparticus789]

It's lame. It was never funny. It is completely stupid. If I wanted to read stupid things on the internet, I would read Reddit.

Re:

[mwvdlee]

"2", "tmoz"... what kind of encoding are you using?

Re:

[name*censored*]

tr '[A-Za-z]' '[N-ZA-Mn-za-m]'

Re:

[ThePhilips]

motion/visual selection + g? in Vim.

It's a good thing Ulrich Drepper

[Mister Liberty]

never implemented rot13.

Stealing Lennart's joke

[steveha]

If you click on the link, you will find out that this isn't just a made-up Slashdot story; it was Lennart's joke. He said they are doing a replacement libc now, they plan to make systemd into an email client (a clear reference to Zawinski's Law), and they figure they will add an OS kernel someday, a gentle poke at GNU/HURD (it was right there in that post).

I'm not the biggest fan of April Fools humor, but at least in this case it was someone poking fun partially at himself.

Does adding a nasty, flamebait summary make the joke better?

In his typical fashion of replacing perfectly working software with useless broken-by-design crap, our dearest Lennart has decided that the time has come for systemd to gain an email program. He determined that the GNU libc was insufficient for the task of a dbus-enabled cpu hogging email client

Really? Really, Unknown Lamer? Did you actually think this vitriol is funny?

Re:

[Rob_Bryerton]

Why is it vitriol? This guy's software is *shit*; pure, unadulterated shit. The only thing more fucked up than the shit he releases is that it's getting picked up by some distros. And for what? What problem does systemd solve? Ooh, can we boot faster? Who fucking cares? Who the hell turns off a computer in this day and age? It's a pure ripoff of Apple's (shitty) launchd. This stuff is replacing decades-proven systems, overcomplicating things, and for what? Either for the sake of change, or to mimic Apple.

Re:

[Rob_Bryerton]

And another thing! I knew this tool was behind sytemd and Pulse audio, but I just learned he is resposible for Avahi as well. Priceless! And that he works for Red Hat: that's just terrifying, and depressing as well. I'm starting to see why people despise Red Hat. Why RH, why?

I'm going to go cry now...

Re:

[semi-extrinsic]

AFAIK, the reason for ArchLinux atleast adapting systemd is that it will eventually be the standard init for most Linux distros, such that each distro will have to spend less time maintaining and updating something which the end user cares little about.

And there aren't really that many gripes with systemd. I have found that it overrides some power management settings on my laptop, but that's somewhat expected, and I quickly updated the settings to my liking. systemd also makes a more noisy initialization

Twice the work, nothing I've posted as AC shows...

[Anonymous Coward]

...in case anyone actually sees some of this, knock it off or go fuck yourselves. It's not amusing. Lots of us are going to log in from work and apparently that doesn't work anyway. It's not a joke if no one is laughing.

Klaatu...

[pigiron]

barada nikto

Editors

[hobarrera]

Slashdot editors at their finest!

Enough already

[PPH]

Ixnay on the otray irteenthay.

Not fooling

[jpschaaf]

The worst part is that this almost sounds like a good idea.

creat

[SteveR]

'On the bright side "We also renamed the API call creat() to create()..."'

And there was much rejoicing.

I truly honestly

[invictusvoid]

I truly honestly hate April the 1st . Totally unnecessary . Sometimes overdone like in this case . and many a times outright irritating ....