SCO Receives Nasdaq's Delisting Notice

An anonymous reader writes "This somewhat amusing press release of sorts tells us one of those things we've all been waiting a while for. SCO(X) has announced that 'it received a Nasdaq Staff Determination letter on December 21, 2007 indicating that as a result of having filed for protection under Chapter 11 of the U.S. Bankruptcy Code, the Nasdaq Listing Qualifications Panel has determined to delist the company's securities from the Nasdaq Stock Market and will suspend trading of the securities effective at the open of business on Thursday, December 27, 2007.' PJ at Groklaw has surmised that with effectively zero cash resources left, Novell doesn't stand to get much more than SCO's furniture, if even that. Ding dong, is the wicked witch finally dead yet?"

Obligatory Futurama Reference

[Apple Acolyte]

"Once again the conservative sandwich-heavy portfolio pays of for the hungry investor!" - Dr. Zoidberg

I wonder if you could get a sandwich with SCO stock right now. . . .

In the words of the great orator Nelson...

[SirLurksAlot]

Haha!

Re:New stock symbol

[Ang31us]

Thanks for the link. I especially love the earnings per share at N/A and the price to earnings ratio at N/A. Great business model, Darl!

Re:If there was any proof....

[Linker3000]

Maybe they could sell the chairs to Steve Ballmer?

Okay then

[L337Motif]

Novell doesn't stand to get much more than SCO's furniture

I'm fine with that. One of my friends in Redmond could use a few more chairs.

Miguel.

And so..

[Cleon]

Let us take a moment to remember SCO, and all that they did for us. For yea, they did take douchebaggery to new heights, and may their executives never again find work, and their lawyers develop sores. May their stockholders be infested with fleas in places they cannot scratch, and the offices that they occupied cursed for all time. As we prepare to bury this pitiful excuse for a company in the grave of history, may its death continue to be slow and painful.

And let us say:

Bwa ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha.

Ha.

Not dead yet

[Archangel Michael]

Tis but a flesh wound.

----

I'm not dead yet .... Shuddup

SCO yard sale

[Billosaur]

Chairs... conference tables... lights... cubicles... free copy of Unix with each purchase...

poor SCO

[JeanBaptiste]

guess I should have paid my $699 licensing fee.

The very best thing about this press release

[Gossi]

...is SCO's blurb at the bottom. I quote: "SCO owns the core UNIX operating system, originally developed by AT&T/Bell Labs and is the exclusive licensor to UNIX-based system software providers". Uhm, SCO...

SCO's furniture

[oahazmatt]

Novell doesn't stand to get much more than SCO's furniture...

Why do I have the feeling McBride's sofa is sewn together from the pelts of one thousand penguins?

Redundant karma whoring

[Ubi_NL]

The funniest IRC quote ever (and happy to burn modpoints for it, as this will doubtlessly be flamed down):

From http://bash.org/?106579
Topic in #os: hey guyz, stop pickin on irix.
<SCO> w00t! i bought unix! im gonna b so rich!
<novell> /msg atnt haha. idiot.
<novell> whoops. was that out loud?
<atnt> rotfl
<ibm> lol
<SCO> why r u laffin at me?
<novell> dude, unix is so 10 years ago. linux is in now.
<SCO> wtf?
<SCO> hey guyz, i bought caldera, I have linux now.
<red_hat> haha, your linux sucks.
<novell> lol
<atnt> lol
<ibm> lol
<SCO> no wayz, i will sell more linux than u!
<ibm> your linux sucks, you should look at SuSE
<SuSE> Ja. Wir bilden gutes Linux f&#252;r IBM.
<SCO> can we do linux with you?
<SuSE> Ich bin nicht sicher...
<ibm> *cough*
<SuSE> Gut lassen Sie uns vereinigen.
* SuSE is now SuSE[UL]
* SCO is now caldera[UL]
<turbolinux> can we play?
<conectiva> we're bored... we'll go too.
<ibm> sure!
* turbolinux is now turbolinux[UL]
* conectiva is now conectiva[UL]
<ibm> redhat: you should join!
<SuSE[UL]> Ja! Wir sind vereinigtes Linux. Widerstand ist vergeblich.
<red_hat> haha. no.
<red_hat> lamers.
<ibm> what about you debian?
<debian> we'll discuss it and let you know in 5 years.
<caldera[UL]> no one wants my linux!
<turbolinux[UL]> i got owned.
<caldera[UL]> u all tricked me. linux is lame.
* caldera[UL] is now known as SCO
<SCO> i'm going back to unix.
<SGI> yeah! want to do unix with me?
<SCO> haha. no. lamer.
<novell> lol
<ibm> snap!
<SGI> :~(
<SCO> hey, u shut up. im gonna sue u ibm.
<ibm> wtf?
<SCO> yea, you stole all the good stuff from unix.
<red_hat> lol
<SuSE[UL]> heraus laut lachen
<ibm> lol
<SCO> shutup. i'm gonna email all your friends and tell them you suck.
<ibm> go ahead. baby.
<SCO> andandand... i revoke your unix! how do you like that?
<ibm> oh no, you didn't. AIX is forever.
<novell> actually, we still own unix, you can't do that.
<SCO> wtf? we bought it from u.
<novell> whoops. our bad.
<SCO> i own u. haha
<SCO> ibm: give me all your AIX now!
<ibm> whatever. lamer.
* ibm sets mode +b SCO!*@*
* SCO has been kicked from #os (own this.)

Re:If there was any proof....

[Anomolous Cowturd]

You could probably sell the same chair back to Ballmer several times :)

Re:Ding dong

[Foobar of Borg]

No, the wicked witch is still spreading FUD [theregister.co.uk].

He threatened to sue while in Singapore. Can't they cane him for that there (please)?

I'll liquidate it for them

[HangingChad]

Novell doesn't stand to get much more than SCO's furniture,

I'll be happy to liquidate it for them. Imagine being able to sell SCO office furniture on eBay? Along with a certificate of authenticity. Heck, I'd bid on a piece myself. It's like owning a piece of the Titanic of tech history.

Re:New stock symbol

[MMC Monster]

There was a guy a while back who put in a bid for 1337 shares at 0.07 cents, or something like that. He may end up owning the entire company. :-)

Re:If there was any proof....

[Methuselah2]

They still have SCO's good name to sell, don't they? ;-)

Not dead according to them!

[Chrisq]

From SCO site [sco.com]:

SCO intends to maintain business as usual throughout the Chapter 11 proceedings. Subject to court approval, SCO will use the cash flow from its operations to meet its capital needs throughout the reorganization process.

Other companies such as Delta Airlines, Texaco, Dow Corning, K-Mart, United Airlines, Toys R' Us, Macy's Department Stores and others have emerged from Chapter 11 protection after restructuring themselves for success. We intend to do the same.

Re:If there was any proof....

[ArsonSmith]

1. Sell chair to Ballmer
2. Duck
3. Sell chair back to Ballmer
4. Duck
5. goto 3
6. profit

How do I get to 6 again?

Restructuring for success - Top Ten list

[Weaselmancer]

Ok, let's do a David Letterman style top-10 list on ways SCO could "restructure themselves for success"! Ready?

• #10, Rent Darl out as a dummy to Jeff Dunham
• #9, Go into the fertilizer business
• #8, Build a transporter and beam themselves to Bizarro world
• #7, Get all Shakespeare in their "reorganization" and kill all their lawyers
• #6, Block Redmond at their firewall so they don't get any more great ideas from "those guys"
• #5, Pie. Sell Pie. Who doesn't like pie?
• #4, Move to Montana and be a dental floss tycoon
• #3, Try to claim copyright on Windows next and get Linus to pay them
• #2, Soylent Lawyer
• And the #1 way for SCO to restructure themselves for success - Make a fucking product!

Re:If there was any proof....

[Opportunist]

I'd be wary here. Selling you the same old shit several times again and again is either already copyrighted by MS or EA.

Re:If there was any proof....

[infonography]

You got the sequence wrong!

1. Sell chair to Ballmer

2. Profit!

3. Duck

4. goto 1 :)

skip steps 3 & 4 jump to step 5

5. OUCH

6. PROFIT!! (lawsuit)

Re:If there was any proof....

[steelfood]

You're not selling him the chair, you're selling him the "right to throw."