Nigerian Government Nixes Microsoft's Mandriva Block 327
An anonymous reader writes "After trying to bribe a local supplier with a $400,000 marketing contract, Microsoft has still apparently lost out in trying to woo Nigeria's government to use Windows over Linux. Microsoft threw the money at the supplier after it chose Mandriva Linux for 17,000 laptops for school children across Nigeria. The supplier took the bait and agreed to wipe Mandriva off the machines, but now Nigeria's government has stepped in to stop the dirty deal."
A new low...amazing (Score:5, Funny)
You know you're corrupt when the government of Nigeria steps in to block your shady deal.
I wish (Score:3, Funny)
Re:A new low...amazing (Score:5, Funny)
What I like most is... (Score:5, Funny)
STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL (Score:5, Funny)
My name is Stephen Ballmer I am the Chair Executive of William Gates of Redmond in the United State of America. I am contacting you with regard to transfer of a huge sum of laptops from the OLPC project. Though I know that a transaction of this magnitude will make any one apprehensive and worried, but I am assuring you that everything has been taken care off, and all will be well at the end of the day. I decided to contact you due to the urgency of this transaction.
Re:Personally... (Score:3, Funny)
To be realistice Windows 2000 and Up have been rather stable reliable systems... So if you were a spammer you will be able to get out just as many spams with windows as you would with Linux or Unix. Secondly Linux can be downloaded for free so if windows sucked that bad they will use Linux.
It is not like we are giving them Macs... [Ducks]
Re:What I like most is... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Wow, just wow! (Score:5, Funny)
Did he get to keep the bribe?
DEAR SIRS OR MISTRESSES (Score:1, Funny)
We want more to use your Widows operating of system and wish to purchase license to the order of $10'000'000
Require though a proof of sample please send license and insurance for delivery $400'000 which will be given back when order is laid.
Sincere regards
[Bah, the lame(ness) filter will not allow me to post in all caps]
Re:The Nigerian official was furious. (Score:3, Funny)
My computer doesn't have a malformed copy protection driver. You must be one of those Windows users.
Business Ethics (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I wish (Score:0, Funny)
France and Nigeria (Score:2, Funny)
No, no, no, that's not how its done. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:wow (Score:2, Funny)
They just didn't bribe the RIGHT people with ENOUGH money.
Well.. at least they didn't bribe them with 640k.
Who could stand all those 640k jokes - AGAIN.
I can see the headline now (Score:5, Funny)
Yes, this is a P.R. disaster in the making, in more ways than one.
I feel a disturbance in the force... (Score:4, Funny)
That leaves the obvious question... (Score:3, Funny)
So what is going to happen to all of the money?
Fortunately, I happen to have a contact at the Technology Support Centre who has offered to cut me in for a 40% share if I can help him get the money out of Nigeria. He contacted me personally on this highly confidential financial transaction after my having been recommended by an associate in confidence of my ability and reliability...
Re:A new low...amazing (Score:1, Funny)
Re:I feel a disturbance in the force... (Score:1, Funny)
17 very significant chairs!
Re:wow (Score:3, Funny)
Re:A new low...amazing (Score:3, Funny)
Recent spam message plogging mail filters around the world...
GREETINGS MY NAME IS STEVE BALLMER I WAS referring to you by a trusted friend for a matter of great urgency. The government of Nigeria died and left no heir for 17,000 laptops awaiting installation of the WINDOWS operating system. We will happily pay you to for the sum of $400,000 USD for your assistance in getting rid of teh suck Linux and installing the wonderful operating system for the children.
Re:A new low...amazing (Score:5, Funny)
I AM BILLIONAIRE AMERICAN BILLY GATES III CEO. I OFFER TO YOU A BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY YOU ARE INTERESTED IN. CONFIDENTIAL. PLEASE CONTACT ME ASAP IF YOU CAN HELP ME MOVE 10,000 WINDOWS INTO YOUR COUNTRY. BECAUSE OF INTERNATIONAL REGULATION I NEED YOUR HELP IN THIS IMPORTANT MATTER. FOR YOUR HELP IN THIS TRANSACTION YOU WILL RECEIVE 400,000 AMERICAN DOLLARS. GOD BLESS.
BILLY GATES III CEO
Re:Still illegal (Score:2, Funny)
Thanks for mentioning that. I had begun to wonder what Cheney's been up to all this time since he dropped out of the news.
IT Job Protection (Score:1, Funny)
This guarantees that nobody from Nigeria will have any job skills required to enter the world IT market and actually do anything more than install memory chips. They are going to have to work their way up to getting real job skills, and while they spend years doing that, Americans can just get another few years of real world job experience.
It seems like a complete win for the US. Not so good for Nigeria, who's Lunix Kidz will only learn how to use Lunix's SENDMAIL for their bulk email scams. But hey, maybe years of cranking up their OLPC's will give them strong wrists for becoming restaurant bus boys and cab drivers.
Re:Wow, just wow! (Score:4, Funny)
Hey, give the Microsoft management a break here. They've only been doing this bribery thing since about 1999, when they started making "campaign contributions" to help bring about a US administration that would stop the Justice Dept's lawsuit and settle on terms favorable to MS.
But, let's face it, 8 years really isn't enough time to figure out the rules for bribery everywhere in the world. To MS's management, $400,000 may not seem like a large amount. Most of their experience is with bribing US government officials, and that's probably somewhat of a minimal bribe in Washington. You can't get a nice house with servants in the US for $150,000, you know. You can't get a condo in DC (without servants) for that price.
But we can rest assured that MS's management is learning from this latest incident. They have people who read slashdot, so they have just been notified of the bribery "exchange rate" in Pakistan. As a result of their discussions with the legal folks in Nigeria, they are probably getting a feel for what's a reasonable price there. Next time, they won't make the mistake of over-bribing, since that tends to get noticed.
And we should all understand that corporate bribery is a lot more difficult than political bribery. Corporations are a lot more secretive with bribery, as they are with other company secrets, and it can take some time to learn just what sort of bribe various officers of different companies expect.
So give them time. In another decade or so, they'll have detailed internal databases detailing the proper approach to bribery in companies and governments worldwide. Then we won't hear stories about dumb mistakes like this one.
Actually, it's sorta funny they wouldn't already have access to a good database of bribery info. You'd expect that some of their "partners" or purchased companies would have it all sitting in a computer somewhere. Maybe they just haven't thought to ask around to see if the data is already available for purchase. Or, more likely, available for quiet download after a reasonable under-the-table payment.
If anyone knows where such a database might be found, maybe you should post the URL here. Think of all the companies you'll be helping. OK; forget that; I know you aren't going to give it out for free. But maybe some pointers to help the "just curious" reach you.
Re:It's just tipping (Score:3, Funny)
Well, as Woody Allen said, "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve it through not dying. "