Why Microsoft Won't List Claimed Patent Violations 626
BlueOni0n writes "Earlier today, Microsoft announced it will begin actively seeking reparations for claimed patent infringement by Linux and the open source community in general. One opinion on why Microsoft won't reveal these 235 alleged IP infringements to the public is that they're afraid of having the claims debunked or challenged — so instead they're waiting until the OS community comes to the bargaining table. But a more optimistic thought is that Microsoft may be afraid to list these supposed violations because it knows the patents can be worked around by the open source community, leaving Microsoft high and dry without any leverage at all."
See, you don't even know the real deal (Score:3, Funny)
Fuel prices have radically altered the economics, and some of the patents involved will be used in a new invention that will revolutionize the transportation industry.
Details here:
http://www.snopes.com/autos/business/carburetor.a
When you read that link, remember: False is the new True!
Interesting speculation (Score:3, Funny)
But a more optimistic thought is that Microsoft may be afraid to list these supposed violations because it knows the patents can be worked around by the open source community, leaving Microsoft high and dry without any leverage at all.
Then why bluster with the threat? It makes them look like SCO and sound like the Iraqi Information Minister. We've got Super Secret IP! We will drive the Linsux invaders into the sea! There are no Linsux soldiers within 150 miles of Redmond! What kind of drugs is Ballmer on?
Not to mention the scrutiny this case would get by the open source community. Nothing like having an army of volunteers. And you know MSFT actually suing someone would vault them into action.
They trained on SCO, they're ready for the Redmond Death Cage Match.
Re:Where's the Cease and Desist? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Microsoft has the old IBM playbook... (Score:3, Funny)
The Microsoft version of the playbook is slightly different:
Microsoft to random corporation: You are violating patents A, B, C, D and E
Random Corporation: A, B, C, D and E are total BS
Microsoft: Not to worry. You are violating F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N and O.
Random Corporation: They're BS too.
Microsoft: Surely there's something worthwhile in this box (rummages in box). How about P, Q, R, S, T, U and V?
Random Corporation: BS
Microsoft: W, X, Y and Z, pleeease?
Random Corporation: Look. IBM had a real research lab that did patentable original research. Yours is just a bunch of people sitting in front of PCs animating paper clips. Now get lost.
Microsoft: Damn
If you get caught just remember to... (Score:2, Funny)
Dear Microsoft, (Score:1, Funny)
Bite me.
Re:SCO (Score:3, Funny)
Apology accepted, Captain Needa.
Re:Declaratory Judgement (Score:4, Funny)
Obligatory 300 quote (Score:5, Funny)
When this linux-child was born, like all Spartans, he was inspected.
For the strength of the code lies only in its openness.
---oOo---
The Threat:
Microsoft Messenger:
Choose your next words carefully, Leon-ix-idas. They may be your last as king.
Linux:
You bring the skulls and crowns of conquered corporations to my desktop, you insult my queen, and you threaten my people with lawsuits and FUD! Oh, I've chosen my words carefully, Microsoft. Perhaps you should have done the same! *kick*
---oOo---
The preliminary skirmishes :
Microsoft :
Send in the SCOuts to test the strength of these Spartan defences.
Linux :
Our Unix ancestors built this wall. Using ancient stones from the bosom of Greece herself.
And with a little Spartan help, your Microsoft-sponsored SCOuts supplied the mortar.
---oOo---
The battle:
Microsoft :
A thousand lawyers of the Microsoft empire descend upon you. Our patents will blot out the sun!
Linux :
Then we will code in the shade !
---oOo---
The aftermath:
Narrator:
The world will know that freemen stood against a tyrant, that few stood against many,
and that before this battle is done, that even a god king can bleed.
Microsoft:
WTF happened ? Who threw that chair ?
Re:Where's Novell? (Score:4, Funny)
Are you perchance an IRS officer?
Re:Declaratory Judgement (Score:4, Funny)
Plus, that would be an evil act. Better hope one of those 5th level fighters wasn't a paladin
Re:Where's Novell? (Score:3, Funny)
AAAAARGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Look, it's not hard. Lose (pronounced luz) as in lost. Loose (pronounced lus) as in your mom.
sorry, invalid analogy (Score:2, Funny)
This is the NEW slashdot. Only bad car analogies allowed. Please rephrase.
Re:I might respect Microsoft (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Good point. (Score:3, Funny)
That'd be really funny. As the saying goes "Live by the sword... ZOMG! They've Got Nukes!"
Some Violations (Score:3, Funny)
* When a Linux box crashes (it sometimes happens), it violates MS's BSOD patent.
* They have a patent on sloppy icons that leak colors thru.
* Hilighting of misspelled words in word processors. IBM had it first, but they stick it on the list anyhow hoping IBM won't care.
* When you use any paper-clip, real or virtual...
* The figure "8" on the keyboard looks like MS-Bob's glasses.
* Keyboards shipped with some Linux boxes have the Windows key on the keyboard.
* The Malinda Gates Foundation patented Aids, so Linux users with Aids have to pay up.
* If your Linux box is near land with grassy, rolling hills, you're violating their wallpaper.
* The angle of the envelope in the mail icon is 27.43 degrees, exactly the same as in Windows.
* The parenthesis on the DOS prompt font look too much like angle brackets, so if Linux uses angle brackets, it is violating their parenthesis patent out of association (a complex legal pathway that would take too long to explain to mortals).
* "Linux" has the letter "n" near the middle of the word, just like "Windows". And an "i".
* The mascot Penguin's smile looks just like MS-Bob's smile: smug and stupid.
* Boring packaging is an MS innovation.
* If you mow your lawn and find your car, you know you are a redneck. Oops, wrong list.
Re:Yeah, great. (Score:3, Funny)
And I have to buy another - unused - OpenBSD cd.
After a couple of moths, they're back at behaving as jerks as they used to, being rude to their own users and every human being in general.
Who are you describing, Microsoft or Theo de Raadt? :)
Re:Where's the Cease and Desist? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Where's the Cease and Desist? (Score:5, Funny)
Yes, this is indeed Slashdot.
Re:Where's the Cease and Desist? (Score:2, Funny)