SCO On the Rocks

Netromancer wrote in to alert us to a Businessweek Online article discussing the downward spiral in SCO's fortunes and luck. From the article: "The mouse that roared is barely squeaking these days. A string of recent setbacks raises grave questions about SCO's finances, its court case, and its management."

Whoa

[LFS.Morpheus]

Didn't see that coming. Who would have thought that basing a company on litigation, scare tactics, and spreading FUD wouldn't work?

Perhaps

[Anonymous Coward]

Perhaps SCO can sue itself to raise cash

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Another Dot Com Failure

[fm6]

So litigation isn't a reliable business model either. We're doomed!

Re:Perhaps

[MatthewNewberg]

If SCO was going to sue SCO I would buy a Unix Lincense from SCO. I need to keep this lawsuit thing going. My life would be boring without the on going story of SCO sueing people. What does this mean for BBspot? Are they now going to go out of business without anythign to write about. Save SCO or my world is going to end!!!

Re:Perhaps

[EnronHaliburton2004]

This new business plan can go with their new name modeled after "GNU's Not Unix":

SCO = "SCO's Court Order"

SCO on IRC

[Anonymous Coward]

Topic in #os: hey guyz, stop pickin on irix.
<SCO> w00t! i bought unix! im gonna b so rich!
<novell> /msg atnt haha. idiot.
<novell> whoops. was that out loud?
<atnt> rotfl
<ibm> lol
<SCO> why r u laffin at me?
<novell> dude, unix is so 10 years ago. linux is in now.
<SCO> wtf?
<SCO> hey guyz, i bought caldera, I have linux now.
<red_hat> haha, your linux sucks.
<novell> lol
<atnt> lol
<ibm> lol
<SCO> no wayz, i will sell more linux than u!
<ibm> your linux sucks, you should look at SuSE
<SuSE> Ja. Wir bilden gutes Linux f&#252;r IBM.
<SCO> can we do linux with you?
<SuSE> Ich bin nicht sicher...
<ibm> *cough*
<SuSE> Gut lassen Sie uns vereinigen.
* SuSE is now SuSE[UL]
* SCO is now caldera[UL]
<turbolinux> can we play?
<conectiva> we're bored... we'll go too.
<ibm> sure!
* turbolinux is now turbolinux[UL]
* conectiva is now conectiva[UL]
<ibm> redhat: you should join!
<SuSE[UL]> Ja! Wir sind vereinigtes Linux. Widerstand ist vergeblich.
<red_hat> haha. no.
<red_hat> lamers.
<ibm> what about you debian?
<debian> we'll discuss it and let you know in 5 years.
<caldera[UL]> no one wants my linux!
<turbolinux[UL]> i got owned.
<caldera[UL]> u all tricked me. linux is lame.
* caldera[UL] is now known as SCO
<SCO> i'm going back to unix.
<SGI> yeah! want to do unix with me?
<SCO> haha. no. lamer.
<novell> lol
<ibm> snap!
<SGI> :~(
<SCO> hey, u shut up. im gonna sue u ibm.
<ibm> wtf?
<SCO> yea, you stole all the good stuff from unix.
<red_hat> lol
<SuSE[UL]> heraus laut lachen
<ibm> lol
<SCO> shutup. i'm gonna email all your friends and tell them you suck.
<ibm> go ahead. baby.
<SCO> andandand... i revoke your unix! how do you like that?
<ibm> oh no, you didn't. AIX is forever.
<novell> actually, we still own unix, you can't do that.
<SCO> wtf? we bought it from u.
<novell> whoops. our bad.
<SCO> i own u. haha
<SCO> ibm: give me all your AIX now!
<ibm> whatever. lamer.
* ibm sets mode +b SCO!*@*
* SCO has been kicked from #os (own this.)

Re:Whoa

[Anonymous Coward]

You misunderstand... read the title again. They're celebrating!

They've invented a new drink called "SCO on the rocks", add one $699 Linux license fee, a splash of Stoli vodka, and top with ice, serve ice cold like their lawyers hearts...

Re:To the Zealots

[wasted]

...according to Microsoft's Ballmer, there is no significant Linux deployment anywhere on earth...

I don't think that I would believe anything coming from Ballmer concering Linux.

IBM guerilla marketing reloads

[rifftide]

Word is that IBM will attempt to push the envelope with yet another guerrilla Linux PR campaign starting next month, replacing its current campaign, code-named "SCO", which appears to be running out of steam.

The SCO campaign, featuring a struggling UNIX vendor that was taken over by greedy executives claiming IP ownership of the entire GNU/Linux code base, was a stunning success. Major news sites such as those run by the Open Source Technology Group eagerly signed up to perpetrate the tongue-in-cheek hoax, which one editor called "the longest running April Fool's joke in the technology business".

Prior to SCO, IBM's PR experts tried hiring teams of college students to spray-paint logos and slogans on the sidewalks of San Francisco and Chicago. That campaign was acknowledged to be a flop.

Re:well..

[Anonymous Coward]

From what i've been seeing on the net, that company is based on insecurity and buggy software. I've seen a lot of people stand up for them so they are probably doing one or two things right but still.

Re:My new boss used to work for them.

[Anonymous Coward]

Get back to work plebian, or I'm gonna come over to your and fart when I leave.

Then, I will report you to HR for smelling like ass. You were scared before, now feel the wrath of a former Caldera manager.

Re:Has anyone managed to short SCO stock?

[Zeinfeld]

To track the short ratio, follow this page: http://finance.yahoo.com/q/ks?s=SCOXE

SCOXE? Is that a link to scoatsex?

'On the Rocks'?

[Ed Avis]

The main thing that worries me about this article's headline is that it may boost SCO's score on the operating system sucks-rules-o-meter [zgp.org]. Ah, I see it's not included in the list. A narrow escape.

This is sad...

[Anonymous Coward]

Back in the day, SCO stories usually attract tons of posting. Today, it could barly break 100 postings...

Darl & Co. is loosing touch!

My parents used to play this in the car.

[Anonymous Coward]

Sing to tune of Neil Diamond's "Love On The Rocks", even though I'm ashamed to post this.

SCO on the rocks
Ain't no surprise
Pour me a bribe
And I'll tell you some lies
Got nothin' to lose
So you just sue big blue all the time

Gave UNIX my heart
Gave UNIX my soul
UNIX left me alone here
With nothing to hold
UNIX is gone
Now all I want is a file

First, they say they'll crush you
How they'll really smash you
Suddenly they find they're out there
Delisted from the NASDAQ
When they say they have you
They don't really have you
Nothing they can do or say
They've got to leave, just get away
They haven't got long

They need $1 billion US
Money's all they want
But there's naught they can do
When their money is gone
May be lawsuits around
But it's cold when you're SCO on the rocks

First, they say they'll crush you
How they'll really smash you
Suddenly they find they're out there
Delisted from the NASDAQ
When they say they have you
They don't really have you
Nothing they can do or say
They've got to leave, just get away
They haven't got long

SCO on the rocks
Ain't no surprise
Pour me a bribe
And I'll tell you some lies
Employees are gone
And now all they want is your cash

Re:Whoa

[cgenman]

From the article:

McBride says that while his staff is small in numbers, it's high on engineering expertise.

Apparently his staff is high on something.

Re:Hard won advice from /.'s MichaelCrawford

[Anonymous Coward]

You forgot:

• Spamming Slashdot
  

Thanks.