McBride Says No More Lawsuits From SCO

thephotoman writes "Well, Darl McBride gave an interview to IDG News Services in which he said that SCO is not going to sue any more customers. They do bring up the issue of the SCOsource Linux licensing, and how much of a failure it has been. Instead, they plan to start marketing their flavor of Unix. However, as he's not dropping the current lawsuits, there's no good reason to believe him on this change in strategy."

Good Idea

[ackthpt]

SCO is not going to sue any more customers.

Not suing customers, particularly your own, is usually somewhere high on the list of Winning Business Strategies.

"Smithers, how much did our iron-fisted grab for licensing fees get us?"
"$11,000, last quarter, Sir."
"Ehhxcellent! They must be crowding around like lemmings, eager to hand over their money!"
"Uh, No Sir, it cost us millions to get that much."
"In the parlance of that oafish brute Homer Simpson, D'oh!"

Wrong quote

[MoxCamel]

To quote Mark Twain, the rumors of our death are greatly exaggerated.

Someone gave McBride the wrong quote. He actually meant to quote Hudson, from Aliens:

"Well that's great, that's just fuckin' great man, now what the fuck are we supposed to do? We're in some real pretty shit now man... That's it man, game over man, game over, man! Game over! What the fuck are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?"

SCO stops sueing?

[zalas]

What's coming up next, Duke Nukem Forever or Doom 3- .... oh wait...

hmm...

[Valar]

I guess the acid finally wore off. Spend millions to extract THOUSANDS!!!!!! in licensing fees. I am trully in awe of your threeleet business skillz, Darlzor.

File it under "duh"

[SoTuA]

McBride says they wont sue their own customers any more, but those "communist, anti-american, pro-terrorist" linux users got them just desserts coming, ayuh.

Re:Good Idea

[Ayaress]

Very winning business strategy. You know what's more profitable? A betting pool on when exactly SCO will file their next lawsuit.

They still have customers?

[Kenja]

"SCO is not going to sue any more customers."

In other words, now that they have no customers, they will only be sueing ex-customers.

I picture this setting in their boardroom

[tekiegreg]

McBride: We've got to figure out a creative way to market our brand of Unix or Linux will wipe us out. Anybody know how our product is better then any Unix flavor or Linux. We're not leaving this room until we get some ideas!!!

*fast forward 12 hours later nothing said*

McBride's junior exec: Sir, I believe this is known as the "oh sh*t moment in business" sir...

I'm sorry

[ajs]

It's kind of like saying, "I'm sorry I kicked your dog, but I'm not going to be kicking any more dogs because it seems to get dog owners upset," while kicking the dog several times...

My personal opinion is that Darl actually loves Linux, and he's been working as hard as he can to, on Microsoft's dime, paint the anti-Linux crowd as raving maniacs... I mean, he's not really this broken, is he?

What?

[theparanoidcynic]

SCO has a product and engineers to maintain it? When the hell? I thought they were just a group of ninja-attack lawyers based out of a defunct Taco Bell store owned by a Microsoft operative . . . . .

One reason: Lawsuit department too busy...

[FerretFrottage]

playing Doom 3.

Not helping...

[Greg Larkin]

News like this really isn't helping Darl's attempt to become more evil than Satan.

Darl vs. Satan [cgi.sfu.ca]

Re:What?

[Ayaress]

Drop out the "ninja" part and you're halfway there. If they had ninjas, I think they would have actually won a few fights.

Re:His financial backers turn tail?

[RetroGeek]

I would not debase myself....

Last line of the posting

[Macrobat]

"However, as he's not dropping the current lawsuits, there's no good reason to believe him on this change in strategy."

That should read, "However, as it's Darl McBride, there's no good reason to believe him at all."

Translation...

[Anonymous Coward]

Both customers were sued...

Re:Wrong quote

[kzinti]

Sontag: How long before we're declared losers can we expect a buyout offer?

Tibbits: Seventeen days.

McBride: Seventeen days? Look man, I don't wanna rain on your parade, but we're not gonna last seventeen hours! Those things are gonna come in here just like they did before. And they're gonna come in here...

Sontag: MCBRIDE!

McBride: ...and they're gonna come in here AND THEY'RE GONNA KILL US!

How can you tell when Darl is lying?

[Anonymous Coward]

Easy -- his lip are moving!

At this point, I beleive a state from SCO about what they will do in the future carries an information content of zero.

Darl McBride's Island

[Eberlin]

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from a "Unix Port"
Aboard a sinking ship.

The mate was a mighty selling man
The skipper wasn't sure
Six passengers sat sail back then
For a legal language tour (a legal language tour)

The language started getting rough
The chrysler case was tossed (almost)
If not for the "courage" of the fearless crew
The lawsuits would be lost (the lawsuits would be lost)

The ship held ground on the shore of this
Old Mormon Desert Isle
With Billy Gates
And Ballmer too
Some millionaire
Named McBride
A Courtroom Star
McNealy and Canadians
Here on Darl McBride's Isle

Engage Universal Translator!

[raytracer]

TRANSLATOR ENGAGED:

We know from our experience in bringing suits against customers like Daimler-Chrysler that we are unlikely to reach settlements which generate cash for SCO. We are unwilling however to fold our cards on other corporate lawsuits, having tossed so much money into the pot. After all, the judge could show up drunk. _pause_. Hey, go order a case of schnapps and send it to the judge with our compliments.

From the article...

[Anonymous Coward]

As The SCO Group Inc.'s reseller and developer community gathers for its annual SCO Forum convention in Las Vegas this week...

Apparently they still have resellers/developers left too. I assume both of them are going to show up at the party in Vegas for the free booze.

Re:SCO stops sueing?

[Anonymous Coward]

No, he said he'll stop suing customers. Since
SCO has no more customers they can sue anybody
else they want. Actually that last statement was wrong.
SCO has two customers left and neither of them
will be sued.

SCO UNIX you say?! Sign me up!

[Kurt Gray]

I definately want to invest my entire IT budget into the flagship product of company that is surrounded with the stench of certain failure. How much is it? $699 per CPU you say? Is that all? Well that's just giving it away! Here, I'll pay you $5000 per CPU because the more I pay the more I get my money's worth, right? I mean afterall you get what you pay for and nothing is free, right? My CEO will be so happy with my informed decision to bank our IT operations on SCO products and support.

Did Darl really say this???

[kwelch007]

Quote "We think in the future, software developers are going to be more motivated by getting paid for their work rather than contributing and not getting paid."

Um. Ya. I haven't cared about getting paid so far. I'll think about that in the future.

Sheesh.

Re:Good Idea

[Anonymous Coward]

He also said he would produce extensive and incontrovertible evidence that Linux violated SCO's IP in a timely manner. If the guy told me the sky was blue, I'd have to go outside to make sure it hadn't changed.

So IBM does what...?

[ajservo]

Does Darl think that they'll drop their countersuits at this news? Like a sociopath moving into a hippie commune "We're not crazy anymore... We've changed! We love everyone now. ALL BETTER!"

Re:I'm sorry

[Anonymous Coward]

damn it, every time I post as an AC I get modded up.

Re:Good Idea

[cmacb]

But more interesting will be a betting pool on when SCO will cease to exist.

Re:I'm sorry

[Elwood P Dowd]

I mean, he's not really this broken, is he?

Well, he is Mormon. He believes in magical underoos.

Re:Good Idea

[Esion Modnar]

Next thing, they'll find there's stolen SCO code in their SCO code. Who will they sue? Darl's other brother Darl.

SCO ninja-lawyer: mental image?

[MachDelta]

Judge: "Prosecution? You may present your case."

SCO Lawyer: "I know... KUNG-FU!! HHYYYAAAAHH!!"

Judge: "Uhh.. Defense? Yours?"

Linux Laywer: "We beleive the fact that the prosecution is attempting to break his desk in half with his forehead is representative of our case, your honour."

SCO Lawyer: "OOH!! This hurt head!! Must try, ancient technique! KKIIIAAAAAAAA--DDAAAARLLLL--!" *WHACK!* *Passes out*

Judge: "....um, case dismissed."



Hmmm. Damnit, now I wish I could actually see a ninja-attack lawyer in action... stupid overactive imagination...

Re:No guarantee

[Alsee]

Hell, if McBride gets any more deranged he's likely to start suing Microsoft customers.

-

In related news..

[adeyadey]

McBride Says No More Lawsuits From SCO..

Bill Gates to refund every Windows XP users money "because its rubbish"..
An end to all wars in the world..
A pony for every child..

Re:His financial backers turn tail?

[vsprintf]

Darl already made millions by inflating the SCO stock so I don't think that he gives a damn what happens to SCO now.

From what I've seen of insider sales figures, it doesn't seem that Darl has made millions for himself, only for the previous SCO management, which is probably what he is being paid for.

The other possibility is that the interviewer offered Darl a dollar bill and a couple of lines. Evidence from the linked article:

McBride [with rolled dollar bill in nose]: . . . It's really a situation of going back to the future, if you will. [Sniffff].

Linus was mostly right.

Re:Res judicata

[tongue]

WTF? Aren't real lawyers banned from slashdot? you asshole, you're going to kill the market on free legal advice here...

Monty Python Music Plays...

[chipmeister]

First they came up with "The Plan": Don't buy our products and we won't sue you.

This failed and they came up with "The Other Plan": Buy our products and we will sue you.

They finally tried "The Other, Other Plan": If you don't buy our products we will sue you.

And they had a hit!

Good to Go?

[arch17c7]

Rather than trying to pound through all of those issues on a daily basis, we've been content to say, "We're going to work our issues through the courtroom, and when everything is resolved there, we'll be good to go

Good to go where, exactly? The unemployment line? A beach in Tahiti? In search of more infringing code in other programs? C'mon, Darl, give us a hint! It's not like you'll be doing a booming business in selling your SCOmware after this is all over.

Perhaps

[tkrotchko]

Perhaps SCO is not sueing any more customers because they've pretty much reached the end of their list of customers?

Re:Wrong quote

[hymy]

And the list goes on and on...

Newt: My mommy said that there were no real monsters... But there are.