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Caldera Software Linux

Wired on McBride 221

Posted by michael
from the made-for-tv-movie dept.
leifbk writes "Wired has a very interesting feature article on how Darl McBride and his sidekick Mike Anderer rose to fame. Some particularly juicy parts are about Anderer: 'He's supercompetitive,' said one. 'If he knows you'll faint at the sight of blood, he'll cut himself just to watch you pass out.'" A very thorough retelling of the legend that is SCO.
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Wired on McBride

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  • Quick! (Score:5, Funny)

    by sockonafish (228678) on Saturday June 26, 2004 @02:39PM (#9538330)
    Assemble an army of fainting geeks and march to Anderer's house!!!
  • McBride (Score:2, Funny)

    by tasinet (747465) on Saturday June 26, 2004 @02:39PM (#9538335)
    McBride?
    Any relation to Ronald McDonald's Bride?
  • by RALE007 (445837) on Saturday June 26, 2004 @02:41PM (#9538348)
    'If he knows you'll faint at the sight of blood, he'll cut himself just to watch you pass out.'

    I'll faint if he cut his own neck, I swear!

  • No (Score:1, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday June 26, 2004 @02:42PM (#9538349)
    No, but I think that joke might be related to Grimace.
  • class clown (Score:5, Funny)

    by k4_pacific (736911) <k4_pacific @ y a hoo.com> on Saturday June 26, 2004 @02:44PM (#9538362) Homepage Journal
    'If he knows you'll faint at the sight of blood, he'll cut himself just to watch you pass out.'

    So he's like that kid from grade school who would turn his eyelids inside-out? Charming.

    Anderer: Hey, look what I can do. Bleh-Bleh!
    Everyone: Ewww!!!!
  • w-w-w-ired (Score:5, Funny)

    by i love pineapples (742841) on Saturday June 26, 2004 @02:47PM (#9538375) Homepage
    I've been wired on McBride, but it made my nose bleed and I felt completely awful the next day. I'll stick to smoking crack... cheaper and less of a hangover.
  • by WhatAmIDoingHere (742870) <sexwithanimals@gmail.com> on Saturday June 26, 2004 @02:47PM (#9538380) Homepage
    That's not being competetive. That's being an ASSHOLE. What kind of pers-- I think I just answered my question.
  • by rice_burners_suck (243660) on Saturday June 26, 2004 @02:50PM (#9538392)
    After several months of endless SCO stories, my ability to resist posting about Scumware Crapware Operation has all but completely worn away. I want to comment on what happened several months ago, when SCO claimed it had evidence of its garbage being misappropriated into something worthwhile...

    Blake Stowell, the Director of Public Relations for The SCO Group, told Newsforge in an email:

    To clarify, the code we showed in Vegas was Unix System V code that was copied line for line from UNIX into Linux. It was contributed by a UNIX licensee, which was not IBM. It was shown not to build our case against IBM, but it was shown to identify that there are issues with Linux. Linus can have his opinion of Darl McBride and what was shown, but ultimately, we will have to show our proof in a court setting and convince a jury that we have been wronged by IBM, not this other UNIX licensee that we showed the code from. That will be a separate issue.

    As the company that owns the UNIX System V source code, we think we're sufficiently qualified to identify this code.

    I think his comment should have been more like this:

    "I just wanna clarify what's goin' on over here. Over in the casino, after I had those nine beers, I showed this crumpled piece of paper that read:

    10 FOR I=1 TO 10

    20 PRINT "I AM COOL"

    30 NEXT I

    The three lines above are source code in our very own UNIX System V. Here are three lines from the Linux kernel:

    static u_int

    mcclock_tlsb_read(device_t dev, u_int reg)

    {

    As you can plainly see, these portions of the Linux source code are exactly identical to our UNIX System V code. All of our programmers, Bob and Jim, told me so themselves, and both of them are highly trained MCSE's. We don't appreciate that the community rejects this as evidence of wrongdoing. Linus is obviously an idiot because his coding skills don't match what Bob and Jim can do in VisualBASIC 2003."

    Upon reading this post, one realizes that it closely resembles going to dinner with a buddy, asking, "How's business?" and writing it off as a business expense. Further, this post closely resembles a sandwich that appears large but, once eaten, proves unsatisfyingly small. A staid, steadfast comment, it resembles a pantomime of images.

    Because this post is supposed to be about SCO, Darl McBribe / McBlackmail / McExtort / McThreaten / McLose / Mc-Go-To-Jail-Do-Not-Pass-Go-Do-Not-Collect-Two-Hu ndred-Billion-Dollars. But the meat of this post is decidedly unsatisfying: SCO is trying to play hard ball with the big boys when SCO, unfit even to be called a little boy, is barely a hole in some dead goat's ass. (See what I mean about "pantomime of images?" And that's a pretty gross image, if you ask me.)

    There were all the press releases issued by SCO:

    For immediate release:

    Smoking Crack Operation (NASCRACK: SCO) announced legal action against Microsoft Corporation for violating SCO intellectual property. The lawsuit comes on the heels of legal action targeting IBM, all the Fortune 500 companies, the governments of two world superpowers and six third world nations, millions of computer users worldwide, and God.

    "Microsoft is using underground hacker software called Linux," said SCO CEO Darl McBluff. "They are using Linux to develop operating system software, codenamed Microsoft Windows, which violates our intellectual property rights. Competition from Microsoft and other companies is eating away at our sales," McBluff said. "Die fuckers!!!"

    According to an SCO spokesperson, Linux violates SCO copyrights by using code developed, trademarked, copyrighted and patented by IBM. Microsoft Windows violates SCO's self-proclaimed right to eternal, perpetually increasing profits.

    Experts from the Gartner Group suggested that all users of Linux, Windows, IRIX, Plan-9, CP/M, Palm OS, OS/390, UNICOS, TOPS-20, Mac OS, DOS and OS/2 immediately pay SCO a nomin

  • Father ?? (Score:5, Funny)

    by Aliencow (653119) on Saturday June 26, 2004 @02:51PM (#9538402) Homepage Journal
    Father of SEVEN ?

    God help us!
  • by Joey Patterson (547891) on Saturday June 26, 2004 @02:52PM (#9538411)
    How much did you pay for that high? $699?
  • by Anonymous Coward on Saturday June 26, 2004 @02:58PM (#9538450)
    For those of us in the US, could you convert that into an Imperial Assload?
  • by Fearless Freep (94727) on Saturday June 26, 2004 @03:10PM (#9538510)
    Read the rest of this comment...

    Why!?!
  • by eamacnaghten (695001) on Saturday June 26, 2004 @03:17PM (#9538534) Homepage Journal
    Is it me or am I the only one who sees the similarity between the SCO saga and the TV show Dallas?

    I mean - both are adictive - both have goodies and baddies - and both are completely weird in the plot....

    I mean - Darl McBride almost looks like JR Ewing! (Well sort of).

    You never know - matbe this is all part of Pamela's dream ... :)

  • by DataPath (1111) on Saturday June 26, 2004 @03:21PM (#9538549)
    Us? No, God help his children.

    Could you imagine being him and trying to teach your kids how to share and play nicely with each other?

    Daddy! Jimmy took my toy! He gave it to me, and then he took it back!

    Jimmy - did you assign all rights to that toy to your brother, or did just permit him to reap enjoyment from it while you're not using it?
  • by EtherealSys (695211) on Saturday June 26, 2004 @03:22PM (#9538554) Homepage
    here and i thought they only sold McBrides in third world countries.
  • by Skevin (16048) on Saturday June 26, 2004 @03:23PM (#9538557) Journal
    Hmm, super-competitive a-hole? Willing to cut himself just to make you faint? I can see some wonderful opportunities at the next SCO Conference...

    DARL: Thank you for listening. I'm now willing to field any questions from the attendees.
    SMART-ASS NERD: I don't like accidentally looking at the goatse picture everytime I read Slashdot. It disgusts me.
    DARL: I don't how this concerns SCO.
    MIKE: Wait, a minute, Darl, there are people here who don't like the goatse picture? Well, have a look at this. [drops pants and proceeds to insert fingers into unpleasant-looking anatomy]
    Darl: Uh, um, are there any other questions?
    S.A.N. #2: I don't like people who hit themselves over the head with a hammer.
    Mike: You don't, eh? It just so happens I have a ballpeen hammer right here... Ow! Ooh! Ouch!
    AUDIENCE (IN UNISON): We hate the thought of lynching Darl McBride!

    I'll leave the rest to oyur imagination...

    Solomon Chang
  • by chrisgeleven (514645) on Saturday June 26, 2004 @03:27PM (#9538580) Homepage
    'If he knows you'll faint at the sight of blood, he'll cut himself just to watch you pass out.'

    He really seems like a nice guy...honestly...I'm not joking...
  • by secondsun (195377) <secondsun@gmail.com> on Saturday June 26, 2004 @03:31PM (#9538600) Journal
    A metric assload is .95 * one Imperial assload. The difference comes form the lack of the standard British rod.
  • by orthogonal (588627) on Saturday June 26, 2004 @03:36PM (#9538635) Journal
    I believe you meant [Darl McBride belongs alongside] Jar Jar [Binks].

    Meesa say yousa owe $699. Meesa say "pump and dump".
  • by Spudley (171066) on Saturday June 26, 2004 @03:44PM (#9538694) Homepage Journal
    I mean - Darl McBride almost looks like JR Ewing! (Well sort of).

    JR Who?

    I thought E-Wing was a Star Wars fighter.

  • by WinterpegCanuck (731998) on Saturday June 26, 2004 @03:52PM (#9538742)
    . . even Crocodile Dundee [www.tbs.tv] has his own. I admit this is not as riviting as fox's new "Judge Judy - The RIAA files" and "Look out!! He's Suing right at us", a southpark spinoff with Johny Cochrane and his chewbacca defense, but should be hitting the primetime slots soon enough.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Saturday June 26, 2004 @04:10PM (#9538851)
    Not to dismiss what you wrote, but you have insulted fecal matter everywhere:

    > He's a shithead
  • by Anonymous Coward on Saturday June 26, 2004 @04:13PM (#9538874)
    SCO is based in Utah, per Utah law you must have 10 wives and 7 kids.
  • by tiny69 (34486) on Saturday June 26, 2004 @04:17PM (#9538895) Homepage Journal
    I'd rather not have my McBride supersized, thankyou.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Saturday June 26, 2004 @04:44PM (#9539035)
    Maybe it's not seven kids. Maybe he just watches too much Seinfeld and it's his son's name.
  • Re:No (Score:2, Funny)

    by dosius (230542) <bridget@buric.co> on Saturday June 26, 2004 @04:57PM (#9539117) Journal
    It sure made me grimace ^^;

    Moll.
  • Re:McBride (Score:1, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday June 26, 2004 @05:26PM (#9539235)
    That's one Bride that's going to be abandoned at the altar :)


    No, that Bride will spend the next 25 years with the Bridegroom, in their 4x6 ft cell.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Saturday June 26, 2004 @06:01PM (#9539386)
    From the Slashdot post: Some particularly juicy parts are about Anderer: 'He's supercompetitive,' said one. 'If he knows you'll faint at the sight of blood, he'll cut himself just to watch you pass out.'

    WANTED: People who faint at the sight of blood (preferably those faint only when large quantities of it have been let out).

I'd rather just believe that it's done by little elves running around.

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