U.S. Army Warns Microsoft To Back Off 635
declan writes "My CNET News colleague Ina Fried has written an interesting article today about how the U.S. Army has told Microsoft to stop sending free CD-ROMs of Office 2003 to government employees. In what's effectively a cease and desist order, the Army said: 'Your offer of free software places our employees and soldiers in jeopardy of unknowingly committing a violation of the ethics rules and regulations to which they have taken an oath to uphold.' Whoops! Perhaps this is Microsoft's latest way to fight free software at the Pentagon. Remember that just 8 months ago, the Army paid $471 million for Microsoft licenses."
thats all well and good... (Score:5, Funny)
This is the solution we need! (Score:5, Funny)
back off.or (Score:0, Funny)
Dear Microsoft (and Bill Gates), (Score:5, Funny)
Office XP, Visual Studio
you sell? I would like a copy of all of them. You
know my address.
Thank you,
Anonymous Coward
Army official also noted... (Score:5, Funny)
It's the Beta Testers copies!! (Score:2, Funny)
Can I be the first one to state the obvious? (Score:5, Funny)
Microsoft: What if we don't?
Army: We'll make you
Microsoft: You and what army?
Army: . .
Microsoft: Oh.
okay (Score:2, Funny)
Microsoft, you had a great marketing strategy, except you decided to assume that people want to use office at all costs... tsk, tsk...
They can destroy them themselves! (Score:5, Funny)
meanwhile in bill gates office (Score:5, Funny)
Ballmer: I think there was something in a college course, but I'm not sure.
Bill: hmm, See if you can buy this ethics things, so we can get back to telling the government what to do.
Re:I paid just shipping for mine (Score:2, Funny)
Re:This is great.... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:They can destroy them themselves! (Score:5, Funny)
Send back at *huge* MS expense (Score:5, Funny)
"Government Entities: Microsoft intends that this product be used in accordance with applicable laws and regulations for the evaluation, use and benefit of your government agency only," Microsoft states in the note. "You may, at your discretion, return this product package to Microsoft at its expense."
Okay, sending back at Microsoft's expense is easy. Just send it via UPS SonicAir [ups.com] same-day service. Doing a quick quote, from Texas (for example) back to Redmond would cost at least $264.94. Also, be sure to send it in the evening so that nighttime charges apply, and from obscure locations so the extended mileage also figures into the cost. If you do it right, you could get it up into the thousands depending on location (overseas stations?) and time of day. If there aren't any commercial flights, you can have UPS charter a plane just for your CD. Oh, and send each CD back separately for maximum effect.
When you absolutely, positively, have to stick it to Microsoft.
Re:Can I be the first one to state the obvious? (Score:5, Funny)
U.S. Army Warns Microsoft To Back Off; Microsoft Masses Troops on Border, Threatens Missile Strikes
This just in... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:thats all well and good... (Score:5, Funny)
"In other news, Bill Gates was found hiding in a spider hole outside of Orem, Utah this afternoon..."
Dear Bill (Score:5, Funny)
Unfortunately, due to the current conflicts our choice of couriers is limited, so we will have to return the CDs by loading them in pamphet-dispersion canisters and dropping them on your Redmond, WA offices.
Love,
The Army
Re:Yep, it's happening in the Navy, too.... (Score:2, Funny)
It would be better if... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Yep, it's happening in the Navy, too.... (Score:5, Funny)
Why the heck do they need to burn CD's in the cockpit? Shouldn't they be focusing on flying the damn plane?!
All Your..... (Score:2, Funny)
wbs.
Re:Yep, it's happening in the Navy, too.... (Score:5, Funny)
What kind of karma would you like?
1) Insightful
2) Overrated
3) Troll
Ehh you get the idea.
LIES! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:They can destroy them themselves! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Yep, it's happening in the Navy, too.... (Score:5, Funny)
What more "essential" things can be added to a word processor?
Weapon Control
The president will be able use Outlook to send a Word Document with a macro to all missile silo's and subs. Upon receipt Outlook will open Word and execute the macro and launch the missiles. This system will be so much cheaper than and less personel intensive than the current system.
V14GR4 wi11 14UNCH y0ur b1g P3N15.
Re:Yep, it's happening in the Navy, too.... (Score:5, Funny)
Maybe they heard about Excel's easter egg.
Re:Good idea! (Score:3, Funny)
Open fire already! (Score:4, Funny)
Bill Gates: Come on just try it a little
Soldier: I'm going to have to ask you to step away from the computers!
Bill Gates: Come on here's a CD lemme just install it, it'll only take a minute
Soldier: This is your last warning, if you do not leave this area you will be terminated immediately!
Bill Gates: Here lemme just *reaches for a mouse*
Soldier: FIRE!
*right about here is some gruesome video of bill gates being ripped to shreds from M4 rounds*
Wow it'd be like a real life xBill [xbill.org]
Re:Also insidious... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Yep, it's happening in the Navy, too.... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Can I be the first one to state the obvious? (Score:3, Funny)
Legally speaking, a corporation is a person. And under the U.S. constitution, it has a right to bear arms. Our only hope is that Microsoft lawyers never notice this. Oh jeez, I've said too much^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^NO CARRIER
Re:Yep, it's happening in the Navy, too.... (Score:5, Funny)
Outlook is grim (Score:4, Funny)
Actually happened again, 20 minutes ago (over the phone). But this time, just for the heck of it, I also recommended Eudora -- choice is good.
When they try Thunderbird out for a day or so, they never go back. If their Outlook problem mysteriously fixes itself, within a day, they go back.
Re:I got one! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Can I be the first one to state the obvious? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Send back at *huge* MS expense (Score:5, Funny)
I live in a major metropolitan area in California and got a quote of $2900 for pickup in 30 minutes. I work for the government and SOOOO wish I had one of these CDs right now.
I wonder what that phone call from Redmond would be like...
Re:Also insidious... (Score:2, Funny)
(for all you Pink Panther fans)
This gives me an idea (Score:2, Funny)
Target Practice (Score:3, Funny)
Re:thats all well and good... (Score:1, Funny)
down shiny side up we should be able to reverse
global warming.
Re:Yep, it's happening in the Navy, too.... (Score:3, Funny)
Man, I hope Jeff Goldblum never joins a terrorist organisation. /kidding. OTOH, maybe anti-terrorism laws will be a good way to round up all those script kiddies. /only half-kidding.
Re:DoD rules on Gifts (Score:3, Funny)
Finally the RIAA has another way to make a profit on their poor business model without suing endusers. They just need to send performers as gifts to DoD employees. The employees would be required to pay out of their own pocket.
Re:Yep, it's happening in the Navy, too.... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Yep, it's happening in the Navy, too.... (Score:2, Funny)
Isn't it something like a few hours of utter boredom with a couple mintes of sheer panic at the beginning and end?
Re:Yep, it's happening in the Navy, too.... (Score:4, Funny)
Except, this involves the US Army. So in this case, Clippy pops up and asks,
Re:Ummm.. yeah. (Score:5, Funny)
It's true, they do. Here's one. [defenselink.mil]
Re:Missing option: (Score:3, Funny)
He only deals in tears and frustration.
Do NOT piss off (Score:5, Funny)
Smooth move M$..
Re:Yep, it's happening in the Navy, too.... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Historical Precedent (Score:2, Funny)
Wow...I wouldn't mind being shot with one of those!
Resistance is futile (Score:3, Funny)
Microsoft warns the Army to back off:
Surrender all your computers to us. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.
Or else... our spyware will autodetect DoD users and subsequently refuse to start. All your computers are belong to us.
Bill Gates of Borg.
He's certainly smarter than you! (Score:1, Funny)