Microsoft Sends Linux Survey

GnrlFajita writes "According to Newsforge, Microsoft is sending Linux users a survey asking why they use Linux, and what can be done to make Windows better. The article suggests taking the survey (or surveys, one for business users and one for home users), then sharing your answers with others in the community." Newsforge and Slashdot are both part of OSDN.

Splash!

[niko9]

...and what can be done to make Windows better.

Mr. Gates taking a long walk off a short pier?

--

Re:Splash!

[fastidious edward]

sounds pretty pro-active to me.

Open the source code.

[Anonymous Coward]

That would make Windows better for customers.

Oh, you wanted to know how to make it better for MICROSOFT.

Don't ask a Debian user

[Anonymous Coward]

I hope they didn't ask any Debian users. Their suggestion would be "Go back to Windows 3.1!"

MODS ON OPIUM!

[Anonymous Coward]

Of course the parent post in on topic! Didn't the terrorists use Microsoft Flight Simulator to practice?

By using Windows you are supporting Usama! Please think about it.

I can see it now...

[D-Cypell]

I use linux because..

[ ] I am a communist
[ ] I am a terrorist
[ ] All of the above

Re:How to make Windows Better...

[Anonymous Coward]

Come on now, be serious. We were thinking along the lines of a new Office Assistant(tm)? How about a nice talking fish?

-BillG

Re:I can see it now...

[EvilTwinSkippy]

[] I am a communist
[] I am a terrorist
[] All of the above

[] I think different (Penciled in)

Why I use Linux?

[EvilTwinSkippy]

Because I belong to a cult that believes that information should be free (in both cost and free of use restrictions.) This cult also believes in returning derived works back to the collective, so that the movement can continue to grow.

We also worship caffiene and you have done bad things to Java.

A couple of sample questions from the survey

[inkswamp]

4) Why do you use Linux? (check all that apply)
( ) It's not Windows
( ) It's not Windows-like
( ) It's not a Microsoft product
( ) It doesn't crush innovation with its monopoly
( ) It doesn't need a security patch every 15 minutes

5) How can Windows be better? (check all that apply)
( ) By being Linux
( ) By being Linux-like
( ) By not being a Microsoft product
( ) By not crushing innovation with its monopoly
( ) By not needing a security patch every 15 minutes

riiight

[Rumagent]

Dear Rebel Alliance

Why don't you like me anymore?

Love
Palpatine

Microsoft's REAL agenda

[illuminatedwax]

They're simply using this list to round up all the Linux users and present them to SCO on a silver platter (like Spiderman!). Then, when SCO wins the suit, Linux will be destroyed!!! MUAHAHAHA!!!!

--Stephen

Re:M$ and number of CPUs!

[EvilTwinSkippy]

5 processors is when you have an 8 way box lobotomized by the Win2K kernel because you didn't spend a bundle more on licenses.

mistake in survey

[goon america]

Why is "Don't want to help hegemonic evil spread across the face of the Earth" not one of the options?

Re:Microsoft Sends Linux Survey

[GnrlFajita]

why didn't they have it someplace on Microsoft's site?

They didn't want their site to get /.ed!

Re:What about BSD?

[Roblimo]

They already monitor the BSD email lists and know what all 25 of you think. :)

- Robin
(ducks and covers)

Re:Why I use Linux?

[tuxette]

I use Linux because of that cute little pudgy pengiun.

(Just kidding...)

More Evil/Less Evil/Just Evil Enough

[Nova Express]

Question 1: Do you think Microsoft should be:
A. More evil
B. Less evil
C. Microsoft is just the right amount of evil right now.

Question 2: Concerning how much the next version of Windows should steal from Macintosh OS 10.3, Windows should:
A. Steal more from Apple
B. Steal a lot more from Apple
C. Still every single element of OS 10.3
D. The current crappy, half-assed ripoff of OS X is currently sufficient for all my computing needs.

Question 3: Next year, how many Windows-specific viruses would you like to receive in e-mail:
A. The same amount as now
B. More
C. A whole lot more
D. I have a Windows box still sending out copies of SoBig at this very moment.

Question 4: How large would you like the next Windows security hole to be?
A. Large enough to accommodate a small dog.
B. Large enough to drive an SUV through.
C. Large enough to drive a Mack truck through.
D. You know that huge crawler thing NASA uses to take the space shuttle out to the pad? Yeah, that big.

Question 5: C'mon, be serious. How much for your soul?
A. Already sold mine.
B. An Xbox with the complete library of available games.
C. 10000 shares of Microsoft stock.
D. Natalie Portman
E. CowboyNeal

Re:How to make Windows Better...

[GNUALMAFUERTE]

May this will sound crazy and off-topic ... but:
What would you do if bill knocks your dor??
I Have dogs, do you?

Re:I can see it now...

[mhesseltine]

I don't use the "Preview Button"

[] I am a communist
[] I am a terrorist
[] All of the above
[] I think different (Penciled in)

[] I don't shower
[] I don't have a girlfriend
[] I have a poster of Linus Torvalds

Re:I answered the survey

[JetScootr]

I answered the survey...with random answers that didn't reflect reality

NNNOOOOOOOO!!!
That's how they designed Windows in the first place!!!

Re:How to make Windows Better...

[ihummel]

Naw, if Bill Gates really is interesting in trying to woo Linux users, he'll give 'em a talking Penguin.

Leading questions

[Brummund]

From the Linux at work-survey: "How complete of a replacement for Windows do you feel Linux is?"

*sigh*

Re:How to make Windows Better...

[catbutt]

Now, if Bill were to knock on my front door, and was willing to actually talk about it ...

But you *know* what the chances of that are...

Um, you are indeed right, the chances are pretty low. Go figure.

I mean, if Santa can visit EVERY SINGLE HOUSE ON THE PLANET in one night, delivering presents to each child in the world, you'd think the richest man in the world would be able to figure out how to personally speak with each Linux user. Geez....

Re:How to make Windows Better...

[danimrich]

I prefer the professor.
Bill Gates would also be an idea, if they implemented an agression-relief feature in the Office Assistant, like weapons etc.

Re:How to make Windows Better...

[Anonymous Coward]

Come on now, be serious. We were thinking along the lines of a new Office Assistant(tm)? How about a nice talking fish?

Re:How to make Windows Better...

[ehiris]

How about a nice talking fish?
How about a nice talking penguin with duck feet? That must be what Linux users want....

Re:Trouble with Firebird

[mabu]

The survey crashed my latest version of Internet Explorer.

More Evil/Less Evil/Just Evil Enough

[Anonymous Coward]

Question 1: Do you think Microsoft should be:
A. More evil
B. Less evil
C. Microsoft is just the right amount of evil right now.

Question 2: Concerning how much the next version of Windows should steal from Macintosh OS 10.3, Windows should:
A. Steal more from Apple
B. Steal a lot more from Apple
C. Still every single element of OS 10.3
D. The current crappy, half-assed ripoff of OS X is currently sufficient for all my computing needs.

Question 3: Next year, how many Windows-specific viruses would you like to receive in e-mail:
A. The same amount as now
B. More
C. A whole lot more
D. I have a Windows box still sending out copies of SoBig at this very moment.

Question 4: How large would you like the next Windows security hole to be?
A. Large enough to accommodate a small dog.
B. Large enough to drive an SUV through.
C. Large enough to drive a Mack truck through.
D. You know that huge crawler thing NASA uses to take the space shuttle out to the pad? Yeah, that big.

Question 5: C'mon, be serious. How much for your soul?
A. Already sold mine.
B. An Xbox with the complete library of available games.
C. 10000 shares of Microsoft stock.
D. Natalie Portman
E. CowboyNeal

Mascots

[Anonymous Coward]

I like Linux better than Microsoft beccause Linux has a Penguin for a mascot and MS has a butterfly. Penguins are cool. Butterflies are for fairies.

Re:How to make Windows Better...

[FuShock]

" Microsoft is deliberately seeking information they can use against Linux. They will make use of any unfavorable comments about Linux in their own propaganda." I can see it now. "...We...all...worship...satan..." -linux user

Re:How to make Windows Better...

[MikeCapone]

That's not the point. The point is that important documents are written in .doc format. Historians will hate us for using that.

If it was up to historians we'd all be writing on stone tablets.

Magnetic and optical supports aren't very long lasting...

Of course I'm all for open standards (go Staroffice/OpenOffice.org!). I was just telling the guy that his precious diary could be future-proof without having to destroy microsoft first.

Re:How to make Windows Better...

[sammy baby]

Only on Slashdot could you find someone who says, "Frankly, my comments about both Windows and Linux are professional opinions. People pay me for those," followed by a bulleted list of exactly the things Microsoft had asked for. For free.

Re:How to make Windows Better...

[zakezuke]

I always thought that a nice frankenstein's monster assistant would be perfect. Totally unhelpful answers like "errrrrrrrrrr!" or "grrrrrrrrrrrrr", but if you say "grr" it says "that was very thoughtful.

I know a grunting monster isn't exactly helpful, but would make me feel better to have something else grring at microsoft office when it doesn't do what I want. After all, the office assistant was never too terribly helpful.

Re:How to make Windows Better...

[Anonymous Coward]

Or like maybe the Johnny Castaway screen-saver from 10 years ago.

Re:How to make Windows Better...

[Malfourmed]

I mean, if Santa can visit EVERY SINGLE HOUSE ON THE PLANET in one night, delivering presents to each child in the world, you'd think the richest man in the world would be able to figure out how to personally speak with each Linux user. Geez....

Ummm.... I hate to tell you this, but Bill Gates doesn't exist.

Finely crafted mind engineering...

[SharpFang]

The purpose of the survey, at least the one for corporate users is not to get results, but to convince people that it's more reasonable to use Windows.

Just look at this question:
8. What organizations would you recommend use Linux?
Organizations that have good IT help
Organizations that want to send a message to the greedy computer industry
Only organizations that have a lot of patience
Organizations that don't mind doing things on their own
Organizations that only have limited computing needs

How to make Windows better? Drop a

[pair-a-noyd]

100 megaton Hydrogen bomb on Redmond..

HKEY-LOCAL {59031a47-3f72-44a7-89c5-5595fe6b30ee}

[Anonymous Coward]

there are no major missing features or bugs that can't be solved with either some GUI workaround (as opposed to Linux's often "edit some obscure config file") or a quaint third party program.

Sure, which is why TweakUI is so necessary and as opposed to clear-as-day MS operations like:

This will remove the shared document folders that show up at the top of the My Computer window. Navigate to: HKEY LOCAL MACHINE SOFTWARE Microsoft Windows CurrentVersion Explorer MyComputer NameSpace DelegateFolders Delete the key {59031a47-3f72-44a7-89c5-5595fe6b30ee}

Re:How to make Windows Better...

[starnix]

You got something against satan worshippers?

Here's my version

[bezuwork's friend]

I always hated the error windows telling the user he or she cannot do something and then requiring "ok" to be clicked.

I always thought it would be neat to write something that would add a "Fuck you!" button or something similar - clicking on it would be the same as clicking on the "ok" button, but at least the user would feel better.

Re:How to make Windows Better...

[naelurec]

Sure its a format .. when I installed Windows 2000 it asked:

Format:
NTFS
FAT32 :)

Re:More Evil/Less Evil/Just Evil Enough

[petecarlson]

To plagiarize would be to take credit for the work of another.
To wite down the words of a poem and post it in a public place with credits removed is not. Methinks responding with the name of the author would have been a much nicer. The tone of your response has damaged the good reputation of the honorable Mr. AC, and caused irreparable harm to his good name. Mr AC is everywhere, perhaps even watching you right now. Not a good idea to get him mad.

That's amusing...

[ivanmarsh]

I just tried to fill out the business questionare honestly so they MIGHT actually use the data to improve Windows.

Upon submission, after a very long wait, I got back document contains no data.

I guess they should have run it on a Linux server.