SCO Says It Has No Plan To Sue Linux Companies

cadfael writes "SCO is reported in the Age as saying they 'Have no plans to sue Linux companies...' This seems to contradict the earlier statements of Chris Sontag. This story also points out how Canopy owns stakes in several other Linux companies, including Linux Networx wheich supplied the supercomputer for Lawrence Livermore Nat Lab. One begins to wonder if the reality of their situation has become clear to them?" Maybe, just maybe, this is the beginning of the end of this mess.

AKA

[Anonymous Coward]

We're poor and don't have the money to sue very many people, it's just a threat. Please buy us.

Heh

[Anonymous Coward]

The weight of IBM's legal penis must be weighing heavily upon SCO's tongue

Fucking tea bagging fag fucks

SCO? Plans?

[error502]

I think it's obvious from previous stories that SCO has no idea what they're doing.

In future news, SCO sues Red Hat, Mandrake, others.

Re: SCO Says It Has No Plan To Sue Linux Companies

[Anonymous Coward]

well crap. i was just about to send them my money. guess i'll hang onto it now to see how this all turns out.

Damage is done...

[banzai75]

Not how you think though... There whole plan was to sabotage open source all along. Not through suing companies, but by keeping all the developers commenting on SCO stories all day.

Think about it. How many articles have there been and how many comments per article? Boy, when the juicy ones came out the number of responses jumped up into the hundreds even nearing a thousand sometimes. Now, imagine if this never happened and all those people got together to work towards one goal. I think with the hours that have been wasted on this story so far, we could've designed and build a mars mission already ;)

SCO random press release generator?

[Chuck Chunder]

They don't seem to actually have a single consistant position on anything.

Is SCO actually being run by a Perl script that periodically checks their stock price to see if it needs to emit some random statement?

So?

[Chester K]

They also said they wouldn't sue Linux end users, then changed their tune later.

See, if you say one thing then say the other instead of just saying what you mean first, that means you get to release two press releases and boost your stock twice!

Is it just me,

[JoeLinux]

Or does anyone else think that Ross Perot would make a GREAT leader of this company? "We're suing." "we're not" "no we are." "Well, just IBM." "everyone but IBM."

Re:SCO random press release generator?

[Anonymous Coward]

Uhm, heh, no. Python, not Perl.

Re:of COURSE they're not suing companies...

[Frymaster]

They sue the users who can't afford legal costs and will settle just for the sake of avoiding legal hell,

tell me about it... i'm being sued for downloading linux over kazaa.

damn.

Re:SCO always tells the truth!

[Anonymous Coward]

It's not a lie, you mischaracterizing clod. It's just an unlikely version of a truth.

They don't have plans to sue anyone. Their plan is for everyone to spontaniously acquiesce and begin showering them with money. And then they plan to romp through the magical faerie garden on their "red-gold and diamond" Segways where the monkeys poop french vanilla ice cream and Bronson Pinchot gives everyone cocaine boosted hummers.

And while it's only slightly less likely than the proverbial monkeys flying out of my butt, it's not *exactly* a complete fabrication.

It'd be hilarious if...

[ChaoticPup]

...this all just turns out to be some sort of snipe hunt masterminded by a closet Linux advocate.

Think about it - bunch of hugely greedy execs that are tech-challenged.

Techie sees opportunity and drops a hint that they're getting screwed by the Linux folks and could probably make a ton of money off of it.

Greedy tech-challenged execs manage to convince themselves that techie is right; charge forward with their Swiss-cheese case and make complete fools of themselves -- while techie laughs his friggin' a$$ off.

What an evil idea.

Wish I had thought of it... :-)

-- CP

Seems like Linus is right

[ekuns]

These guys have to be smoking SOMETHING to explain the cognitive dissonance in their statements. I mean, "We're not talking about the kernel." "We're talking about the kernel." "We're not going to go after end users." "We're going to go after end users." "Well, we're only going to go after companies but not hobbiests." "We changed our minds again, we never intended to go after anybody."

If only I had the spare ten hours I could go over the last years' press releases and make some "found poetry." Blank verse in this case, of course.

Saw this "Fraud" ad on the page you linked...

[Anonymous Coward]

"Online fraud is a serious and growing problem, one that cost merchants an estimated $1 Billion in the past year. Fortunately, you can take steps to significantly limit your risk as an online merchant. Click here to get a copy of the guide "What Every Merchant Should Know About Internet Fraud." "

Coincidence? I think not...

Re:Heh

[EverDense]

Yeah they don't call IBM "BIG Blue" for nothing.

Hmmm, maybe instead...

[Anonymous Coward]

Twenty bucks says Darl McBride buys a house in the Caymans in the next 6 months.

... he should look at that much bigger island in the Carribean that does not have an extradition treaty with the USA. He'd fit in well there.

Notice the poll

[rzbx]

Anyone else notice the poll on eweek?

"Is Linux right that SCO is "smoking crack"?

Yes
No
"

So far 97% say yes.

SCO the true postmodern company...

[martin-boundary]

Watch out for SCO's next move: in true postmodern fashion, they'll be emitting press releases examining the inconsistencies in their own press releases. Then they'll have press releases advertizing these new press releases, and press releases stating that all their press releases are equally valuable to individuals.

Re:SCO random press release generator?

[popeyethesailor]

As a bonafide Perl script, I am extremely offended by your statement.

Us Perl scripts have feelings too..

Re:Heh

[marko123]

tea bagging's fine. leave it out of this please.

No, no, no...

[MickLinux]

... Clearly, they won't be allowed to remain in the US. Therefore, they're going to have to fly to some South Seas island with good internet connectivity. Then, when they get there, they're of course going to find that there are only two real tech jobs available to invest in... ... spam, and internet worms to DoS the blacklists.

Well, you gotta invest money, don't you? You can't just have it sitting there... you have a right to make money, don't you? Isn't that what America is all about?

I'd say the internet is about done for.

There -- I've managed to compress three recent stories (well, four or five, really) into one.

And all, without mentioning how they do it in Soviet Russia. Because in Soviet Russia, they have a different method of dealing with companies like SCO, and it ain't pretty, and it ain't good either.

SCO's haiku

[Anonymous Coward]

We sue
Or we don't
Our stocks rise

Re:Lawsuit I'd like to see

[Anonymous Coward]

>They went after Martha Stewart for a hell of a lot less than this.

That's because Martha's a whole lot more irritating than some devout mormon tech guy named Darl who's safely sequestered in Utah.

Re:Notice the poll

[Anonymous Coward]

Just more proof that open sores cracker hippies are using scripts to flood the poll with fake results, while they take a break of DDoS'ing SCO's servers.

As we all know, the "silent majority" is with SCO on this one.

I've got it! SCO is North Korea!

[Nova Express]

Think about it: They act crazy, they say the have awesome weapons that will destroy their enemies, but won't let anyone look at them, they make ridiculous threats against enemies several orders of magnitude more powerful than they are, then beg for money.

The only difference is that North Korea might have nukes, and we all know that SCO has squat...

Re:Timeline of events?

[MuParadigm]

"...asked whether SCO would sue the laboratory, the company spokesperson said: 'No. SCO has never made concrete plans to sue anyone.'"

From the minutes of a SCO conference with counsel, 8/29/03, participants Darl McBride, Chris Sontag, Blake Stowell, David Boies, and Mark Heise:

Darl: We sued IBM!?!?! How'd that happen?

Chris: (looks down at conference table) Ummm...
(glances over to...)

Mark: Well... David said -

Blake: Shut up, Scheisse.

Mark: It's *Heise*, not scheisse.

Blake: (snorts) Yeah, right.

David: Cut it out, guys.

Look. OK, my bad. Chris and I were having drinks at the bar, and talking
about the Microsoft settlement. Anyway, Chris starts going on about how
we should sue Microsoft again. You know, maybe there's some System V code
in Windows and they misappropriated it. That led into a talk about how we
might use it to show how SCO's business has been hurt by Microsoft, and,
well, from there we started talking about how Linux was hurting the
business. And, you know, we started talking about how all the other
companies, like IBM, were helping Linux. And from there, well, somehow
we ended up filing a suit against IBM.

It's not like we planned on it, you know.

It just sort of... (sighs) happened.

Ahh....

[AdEbh]

I finally see what their plan is! I have proof! If you want to see it you'll just have to sign this little thing here, called a NDA.

- EBH

Re:Timeline of events?

[Feztaa]

We Love the SCO Information Minister! [anerispress.com]

They have a list of Deathless Quotes, dated, with references.

Have fun! :)

Oh man, this is too much!

[pair-a-noyd]

I swear this bunch of idiots is starting to sound like Baghdad Bob.

Either they are flipping coins and drawing fortune cookie slips or they hired my ex-wife as information minister.

Re:politics

[ender81b]

Politics is just a way of saying 'nice doggie' untill you can find a big stick.

Tech Support

Re:Oh man, this is too much!

[frkiii]

Actually, Baghdad Bob sounds somewhat coherent compared to SCO/Canopy at this point.

These guys are too much. They must be bucking to write skits for Saturday Night Live or something.

Regards,

Fredrick

Re:Timeline of events?

[Lord_Dweomer]

f. SEC Investigation g. federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison

Re:No, no, no...

[dipipanone]

In post-Soviet Russia, gangster extortionists are a constant hazard of doing business.

SCO would fit in pretty well over there.

Planning on going into Politics?

[Original Cynic]

Judging from the latest press release maybe somebody should check to see if Sontang and McBride are running for Governor in California

Not anyone...

[Anonymous Coward]

"We will not sue anyone, we'll sue _everyone_," admits the SCO spin-doctors.
"We believe in the american way. We will spew FUD, sue the innocent and lie our way to success. It is our right."

Re:Timeline of events?

[MuParadigm]

"SCO claims to know what was copied, so make them post it already."

Yes! Here on Slashdot. And make them read all 1378 responses. Except the -1's. We're not *that* evil. Though, Lord knows, they deserve it.

So I guess we know what Comical Ali's doing now.

[Channard]

He's working for SCO's press department. Cue news eed..

Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, SCO's Press Officer denied that the billion pound judgement against the company, awarded to IBM, will in any way affect the company's pursuit of Linux Licensing Fees from other companies. As Mr al-Sahaf explained... 'We have not lost to IBM. We have in fact had a great and astounding victory. Tonight we shall dance around in the piles of money that we have been awarded. We have more joyous news in that all Linux users have agreed to pay us for developing Linux completely on our own, and with no help from outsiders.'

Yep, that's true!

[SharpFang]

Their recent actions prove that! They don't have a plan to sue anyone for Linux! Completely! Not a sign of any plan, PURE IMPROVISATION from the beginning to end!!!

Time for some perspective on EVIL

[Cordath]

As evil as McBride may be, he's got nothing on Martha Stewart. Think of it this way... Which of the following is your wife more likely to say to you?

a)Honey, I think we need to spend $5,000 on a Feng Shui consultant to get the chi flowing in the living room...
b)Honey, it's not stupid. I swear, Martha used sponges just like these to paint her wall and it looked great! It's not like you had anything better to do today.
c)Honey, I think you should pay that Linux IP licensing fee to SCO for that web-server you have in the basement.

Re:SCO's haiku

[Christian Engstrom]

I thought haiku was 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables.

Yes, but also the perhaps most important rule which often gets overlooked: The two first lines should paint a picture, which is then radically changed by the final line.

Perhaps:

Sharp executives
Expert hard-hitting lawyers
Taking a crack break

SCO outcome in HAIKU

[Anonymous Coward]

see darl mcbride
I B M fills all his holes
with lawyer penis

Re:SCO the true postmodern company...

[Haeleth]

Well, obviously the fact that their press releases appear contradictory to us merely indicates that we fail to understand their deeper meaning. Only by meditating on these seeming paradoxes will we achieve enlightenment.

Re:SCO random press release generator?

[EvilTwinSkippy]

No, actually it's Visual Basic.

Re:Parse the statement...

[EvilTwinSkippy]

Other famous SCO quotes:

• There was no qui-pro-SCO.
• I did not have sexual relations with that penguin!
• Linux vendors have tools that can strike us in as little as 45 minutes.

Re:Timeline of events?

[EvilTwinSkippy]

I imagine Daryl waking up with a splitting hangover. He stumbles into the next room, amidst a lot of chuckling.

Partygoer: Dude, Daryl, you were so drunk, you will never believe what you did.

Daryl: Ok, did I dance around with a lampshade on my head?

Partygoer: (Chuckle) Nope.

Daryl: Did I upchuck on the new rug?

Partygoer: Nope

Daryl: Okay, who did I fuck with?

Partygoer bursts out laughing, uncontrollably...

Re:SCO's haiku

[bobdotorg]

We sue
Or we don't
Our stocks rise

I thought haiku was 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables.

And it's a damn good thing he didn't write a haiku:

We are SCO
We own the haiku patent
We will sue your ass

SCO's plans

[gnuage.cowboy]

Yeah, they say they don't 'plan' to sue Linux companies. their 'plan' is to have everyone just agree with them and just start handing over money. dumb SCO. :-p

Re:SCO servers down again.

[16K Ram Pack]

Darn, I was going to go on there to get a contact number to buy a license ;)

Re:MOD PARENT IP

[Jearil]

Yea, that's exactally what we need at slashdot with all these SCO stories flying around, an Intellectual Property moderation.

Re:Stock Price -- Evidence about Microsoft

[pebs]

SCO 10q and just how much has Microsoft agreed to pay SCO?

Take name "MICROSOFT" and rearrange the letters and you get "SCO FROM IT"

hmmmmmmmmmmmm

Re:Heh

[DarkLurker]

Farther south... Hmmmm....

The Ode of SCO

Midway between the tongue and toes
Is where their little pecker goes
They turned their head and gave a cough
and out popped greasy Microsoft
Toward their front was hard Big Blue
Behind them Tux was lubed to screw
And in the end, they took it long,
That mighty, horny Linux dong
Their mouth agape, their eyes bugged out
It hurt so bad they had to shout
"We lied, I say, we really lied.
And all because of Darl McBride.
Please take it out and go away,
We now know TUX IS HERE TO STAY!!!"
==

Windows is DEAD!!!
SCOldera can BITE ME!!!
LONG LIVE TUX!!!!!!!!!!!

Re:Timeline of events?

[felis_panthera]

"There are some people -- press, open source companies, and opinion leaders, like Eric Raymond, in the industry who don't know what's going on."

I'm sorry... did he just imply that ESR "Doesn't Get It"??

What if SCO won?

[Lost Penguin]

Imagine :
SCO wins against the GPL
All open source software dies
Utah National guard is called out to protect SCO HQ
6 million open source users decend on Lindon, Utah
Some of the Utah National Guard are (ex)Linux users.
Utah Guard does not fire on unarmed civilions.
Darl is torn limb from limb in the SCO lobby.
Canopy group last seen heading for amazon rain forest.

WTF?

[Jagasian]

Here is a recent picture [siatlanta.com] of closet Linux user, W Bush, after hearing this recent statement by SCO. I wouldn't be surprised if every Linux user out there has the same look on their face.

SCO, is it a "yes" or a "no"? Just choose!

Re:Timeline of events?

[Zeinfeld]

Thankfully in the case of Worldcom, criminal charges were finally filed recently... I hope they exile them to Afghanistan, the bastards.

Ebbers is not being indicted by the federal govt. it is the state govt. that made the indictments.

Martha Stewart made the mistake of paying off the wrong lot. Herr Ashcroft does not take campaign donations to Democrats into account as a mitigating factor. To count a contribution has to be made to the Bush-Cheney campaign.

I don't think it is very likely we will see an indictment of Kenny Boy Lay while his great friend W is still in the Whitehouse. If there is one constant in W.'s policies it is his determination to give as many favors as possible to rich Texas oilmen.

So much for putting honor and dignity back into the Whitehouse.

As for SCO, they are just another corporate parasite out to use the law to threaten and bully in the hope they can intimidate others into giving them money. I don't think it very likely that IBM can be bullied in that way.

SCO's story is about as believable as Clinton's claim he did not have sexual relations with Monica, or Bush's claim that Iraq had WMD's. It changes about as often.