SCO Calls IBM Countersuit "Unsubstantiated Allegations" 972
dacarr writes "Yahoo currently hosts a press release from SCO that basically calls for IBM to "move away from the GPL"." Lycoris tries to dodge the flood of idiocy from Utah. Another non-programmer has seen SCO's presentation, and without attempting to verify the facts through his own research, reported on it. One reader buys a SCO license. SCO justifies their continuing illegal distribution of the Linux kernel.
*chuckle* (Score:3, Funny)
Oh boy. Monty Python couldn't keep you in stitches longer then McBride. This guy is one of the world's greatest comedians.
Dr StrangeSCOve (Score:5, Funny)
Comment removed (Score:3, Funny)
Money for Nothing - redux (Score:5, Funny)
Money For Nothing
Now look at them SCO-yo's that's not the way to do it
They say we're infringing on their IP.
It ain't workin' the way they try to do it
They're getting nowhere, lawsuits ain't free.
No it ain't workin', not the way they do it
Lemme tell ya them guys are dumb
They gots a lawsuit from them RedHat people
And a 'nuther from that IBM.
You gotta buy their UNIX license
Or else they gonna sue you guys
They gotta keep that FUD stream flowing
They gotta keep that stock price high.
See little Darl with the options and delusions
He's got no braincells under his hair
That little Darl wants his own jet airplane
Little Darl wants to be a millionaire
You gotta buy their UNIX license
Or else they gonna sue you guys
They gotta keep the FUD stream flowing
They gotta keep that stock price high.
I shoulda learned to play the market
I shoulda learned to pump and dump
Look at them, they got all those profits
Man I could have some fun
Darl's up there in Utah making lawyer noises
Bangin' out lawsuits like a chimpanzee
It ain't workin' the way they try to do it
They're getting nowhere, lawsuits ain't free.
Wha??? (Score:5, Funny)
Actually, this is pretty funny (Score:0, Funny)
Breaking News... (Score:5, Funny)
"It was just an unwarranted attack" said the Roast Pot. "We all know the truth here, and for the pot to be so stupid and call the kettle black, while itself is black, is just ridiculous.
The pot refused to answer any of our questions claiming temporary insanity due to undue financial stress. The kettle however smiled at our cameras and stated "now we realize who is living in the fantasy world!". We will bring you more of this developing story as it becomes available. For Koo-Koo kitchen News, this is Tea Spooner.
---
A tautology is a thing which is tautological.
Ha! (Score:2, Funny)
Picking random people? (Score:4, Funny)
Deutsche Bank Securities analyst Brian Skiba...
The guy likely uses a computer, so obviously he's an expert on kernel design.
In other news, St. Mary's Hospital caterer Edna Pratt reviewed the conditions of several patients, and declared them free of cancer.
*knock knock* (Score:5, Funny)
Re:*chuckle* (Score:4, Funny)
unsubstantiated allegation adj: 1. unsupported by evidence; 2. a claim made by a Republican U.S. Senator or by a UNIX vendor by the name of SCO, characterized by detailed fantasy, delusions and self-importance absent material foundation [syn: uncorroborated nonsense].
Re:pot - kettle (Score:2, Funny)
I will have to remember this when my 1 year old nephew asks me what that phrase means.
I feel sorry for the kid, having to listen to that explanation:
1-yr old: "'Scuse, what's 'pot called kettle black'?"
Adult: "Listen up, kid. International copyright and patent laws prohibit the unauthorized redistribution of intellectual property..."
hohohoho.. that is hilarious (Score:3, Funny)
*gaaah* I almost fell out of my chair..
That just killed me.. I gotta buy one with some monopoly money..
thought, I only have the simpson version and might need that money later for the "save the SCO" foundation for when they declare bankruptcy
quote from InfoWorld article... (Score:5, Funny)
Clearly, IBM's business model is broken and they're trying to hide that fact. I mean, selling products and services is so 20th Century. Litigation is the way to make money these days. The countersuit just smacks of "me too"ism.
IBM issues cryptic response (Score:5, Funny)
Reminds me of a Mastercasd commercial (Score:1, Funny)
SCO income = -$24 million
SCO calling IBM's business model faulty = priceless
Re:Dr StrangeSCOve (Score:4, Funny)
Of course, it doesn't hurt that one of Peter Sellars' characters is already named Mandrake [amazon.com] :-)
Re:Flood of idiocy from Utah? (Score:5, Funny)
No. There's a mountain range in the way. It tends to drift across the salt flats into Nevada, and south along the Colorado into Arizona.
You can't fight in here! This is the server room! (Score:2, Funny)
This just in.. (Score:5, Funny)
IBM soon realized what was going on, chased Mr. McDumbass to the monkey bars and beat the shit out of him.
More or less to tune of Clementine (Score:5, Funny)
Though they tweaked their business model, yet the bastard wouldn't go
Oh my Darl-ing, oh my Darl-ing, oh my Darl-ing Darl McBride
He'll be lost and gone for ever when the SEC comes for the ride.
So they fed the fire with lawsuits, fear uncertainty and doubt
Tried to set the stock a-pumping, hoped to dump and then move out
Oh my Darl-ing, oh my Darl-ing, oh my Darl-ing Darl McBride
He'll be floating down the river when the SEC gets into stride
Who would buy this stock for money? Not a broker with a brain
But God oft gives stacks of greenbacks to the certified insane
Oh my Darl-ing, oh my Darl-ing, oh my Darl-ing Darl McBride,
When the shit impacts the fanblades, you can run but you can't hide.
SCO is not an Enron, not a congressman will care
When the monster from East Fishfill has you dangling in the air
Oh my Darl-ing, oh my Darl-ing, oh my Darl-ing SCO,
For a while the joke was funny, but it's really time to go.
if the GPL is thrown out (Score:2, Funny)
In this case, that means every single Linux developer can now sue SCo for unauthorised distribution of their copyrighted material!!
deck of cards (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Dr StrangeSCOve (Score:4, Funny)
My gift to Linux Users (Score:2, Funny)
Just print out 14 - 50 Darler Bills [scecorp.com] and send them to SCO for each CPU running Linux.
FrankRe:You can't fight in here! This is the server roo (Score:3, Funny)
:-)
Re:-1 troll (Score:5, Funny)
"You know whats funny, how sometimes when you do stuff, and then, then you say other people are doing that same stuff to you. Now thats funny."
Re:IBM issues cryptic response (Score:4, Funny)
(Darl is sitting with head in hands, wondering how this all happened)
IBM Legal Team: "hehe, noobs."
Re:I've signed the NDA and seen the code in questi (Score:3, Funny)
Re:"Unsubstantiated Allegations"?!? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Dr StrangeSCOve (Score:3, Funny)
Re:SCO vs OJ (Score:3, Funny)
--
SCO sucks [scosucks.com]
Re:Dr StrangeSCOve (Score:4, Funny)
[IBM] Who filed that? Who the fuck filed that? Who's the slimy little communist shit, tinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just filed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh?! The fairy fucking godmother filed the lawsuit! Out-fucking-standing! [SCO]I Filed that lawsuit sir! [IBM]Well, what have we got here? A fucking comedian, private SCO? Hell, I like you, you can come over and fuck my sister! {punches SCO in Gut, SCO drops to floor} [IBM]I've got your name! I've got your ass! You will not laugh, you will not cry, you will learn by the Courts, I will Countersue You!
the drill sargeant can be used for IBM with many other modified quotes:
[IBM]Sco, you had best unfuck yourself and start shitting me Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely fuck you up!
[IBM]Private SCO, I'm gonna give you three seconds, exactly three fuckin' seconds, to wipe that stupid lookin' lawsuit off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull fuck you!
Re:-1 troll (Score:5, Funny)
Which is funny in light of this:
Heh. My favorite Darl Mcbride quote.
By the way, I found the quote when I was compiling the SCO news archive [pinkfairies.org] on PinkFairies.Org [pinkfairies.org] - We're calling shenanigans on SCO.
Or, mabey we're all just pissed that they figured out step 2.
~Will
This case reminds me of something (Score:3, Funny)
As the Linux users panic trying to escape, Darl locks eyes with RedHat and levels his gun. RedHat throws SuSE to the ground and grabs the dumbstruck Linus's sidearm.
But he doesn't get off a shot -- a lone gunshot stops Darl -- knocking him back through the doorway. RedHat looks back to see IBM still sighting down the barrel of his
His hand is rock steady. He sees RedHat's look.
IBM
(shrugging)
You were right. You couldn't have
made it without me.
SCO are the good guys! (Score:5, Funny)
The only explanation I can find for SCO's lunacy is that they are setting themselves up to lose a court case against the GPL. Isn't this what we always wanted--a "test case" to set a precedent for the GPL?
Darl McBride is a hero, and I think we should all stop...
Damn, I nearly got through that with a straight face.
Re:The MS link (Score:3, Funny)
I hope that this post was modded "Interesting" as in a "Look at that hobo with the tin-foil hat shouting about John Lennon and the KGB. Isn't that interesting." sort of way.
"Unsubstantiated Allegations" (Score:3, Funny)
SCO reminds me more and more of the black knight (Score:3, Funny)
SCO: Oh, had enough, eh?
IBM: Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left.
SCO: Yes, I have.
IBM: Look!
SCO: Just a flesh wound. (kick)
IBM: Look, stop that.
SCO: Chicken! (kick) Chickeeeen!
IBM: Look, I'll have your leg. (kick) Right!
[IBM chops SCO's right leg off]
SCO: Right. I'll do you for that!
IBM: You'll what?
SCO: Come here!
IBM: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
SCO: I'm invincible!
IBM: You're a looney.
SCO: The SCO always triumphs! Have at you! Come on, then.
SCO counter counter sues IBM; says "Yuh Mutha" (Score:4, Funny)
IBM responded with yet more pointless stupid eServer commericals. The new initiative has a SCO exec bent over an eServer while an attractive and trendy eServer flack takes him from behind.
SCO infringing IBM patents (Score:3, Funny)
Ahh! So SCO admits publicly that the infringement, and therefore damages, have been accumulating over many years!
Re:*chuckle* (Score:3, Funny)
Don Quixote had said nothing publicly, but there are rumours...
Re:-1 troll (Score:5, Funny)
Re:A Python View of Latest Allegation from SCO (Score:3, Funny)
[battle sounds]
[SCO defeats a worthless-piece-of-crap-knight]
IBM: You fight with the strength of many men, Sir knight.
I am IBM, King of the Supercomputers.
[pause]
I seek the finest and the bravest companies in the land to
join me in my Court of Linux.
[pause]
You have proved yourself worthy; will you join me?
[pause]
You make me sad. So be it. Come, RedHat.
SCO: None shall pass.
IBM: What?
SCO: None shall pass.
IBM: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir knight, but I must
distribute this kernel.
SCO: Then you shall die.
IBM: I command you, as King of the Supercomputers, to stand aside!
SCO: I move for no man.
IBM: So be it!
[hah]
[parry thrust]
[IBM chops SCO's patent claims off]
IBM: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
SCO: 'Tis but a scratch.
IBM: A scratch? Your patent claims are nonsense!
SCO: No, they aren't.
IBM: Well, what's that then?
SCO: I've had worse.
IBM: You liar!
SCO: Come on you pansy!
[hah]
[parry thrust]
[IBM chops SCO's copyright claims off]
IBM: Victory is mine!
[kneeling]
We thank thee Linus, that in thy merc-
[SCO kicks IBM in the head while he is praying]
SCO: Come on then.
IBM: What?
SCO: Have at you!
IBM: You are indeed brave, Sir knight, but the fight is mine.
SCO: Oh, had enough, eh?
IBM: Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no IP left.
SCO: Yes I have.
IBM: Look!
SCO: Just a flesh wound.
[Headbutts IBM in the chest]
IBM: Look, stop that.
SCO: Chicken! Chicken!
IBM: Look, I'll have your trade secrets. Right!
[whop]
SCO: Right, I'll do you for that!
IBM: You'll what?
SCO: Come 'ere!
IBM: What are you going to do, sue me?
SCO: I own Unix!
IBM: You're a loony.
SCO: The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you!
IBM: Come on then.
[whop]
[IBM chops SCO's contract claims off]
IBM: All right; we'll settle out of court. Come, RedHat.
SCO: Oh, oh, I see, running away then. You yellow
bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite
your patents off!
(With thanks to this site [20m.com].)
Re:The MS link (Score:2, Funny)
--sanx--
Re:Linux on everything (Score:3, Funny)
Wow. Imagine a Beow*smack*
Thanks, I needed that.