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Caldera Government Software The Courts Linux News

SCO Targets US Government, TiVo 1539

An anonymous reader writes "According to SCO, if you have a TiVo set-top box, or those models of Sharp Zaurus which use Linux, someone now owes them $32, since the company wants money 'for each embedded system using Linux.' SCO also says government agencies must pay up to $699 for each copy of Linux that they use."
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SCO Targets US Government, TiVo

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  • by Blue Lozenge ( 444566 ) * on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:34PM (#6629629) Homepage
    SCO reported declines in product and services revenue in the six months ending April 2003 compared to the same period last year. However, those declines were offset by $8 in new licensing revenues.
    Whoa! No wonder they're so desperate for new licensing revenue. :)
  • Next up... (Score:5, Funny)

    by Mike the Mac Geek ( 182790 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:34PM (#6629632) Journal
    SCO is demanding 5$ from everyone who has talked about Linux in the past year, and 75 cents from people who have walked by Linux displays in retail stores.

  • SCO (Score:5, Funny)

    by Vargasan ( 610063 ) <swhisken@rogers. c o m> on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:34PM (#6629635) Homepage
    Trying to piss EVERYONE off, are we, SCO?
  • ignore them (Score:3, Funny)

    by RoC MasterMind ( 576689 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:35PM (#6629642) Homepage
    Perhaps if we ignore them they'll go away?
  • by SUB7IME ( 604466 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:35PM (#6629643)
    In further news, the US Government replied that, "SCO owes us $2,000 per day of liberty, retroactively to 1789. Failure to pay will result in 'legal action' from our tactical nuclear warhead supply."
  • beowulf? (Score:4, Funny)

    by sniggly ( 216454 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:36PM (#6629648) Journal
    Wow imagine a beowulf cluster of these claims! :(
  • by ansak ( 80421 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:36PM (#6629650) Homepage Journal
    Disconnect their narco-drip before they decide that the dyes in the colours of most national flags contain their IP!
  • by BrynM ( 217883 ) * on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:36PM (#6629651) Homepage Journal
    I think this is all just a way to make us run out of SCO jokes before the trial. McBride is such a clever bastard.
  • by cfl ( 82047 ) * on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:37PM (#6629670)
    Maybe the author *meant* to spell breach as "breech" in the article link:

    "SCO is currently suing IBM Corp. for breech of contract for allegedly supplying some of that Unix code as part of the open source development process for Linux. "

    From dictionary.com:

    breech:

    breech ( P ) Pronunciation Key (brch)
    n.
    The lower rear portion of the human trunk; the buttocks.

    breach:

    1
    a. An opening, a tear, or a rupture.
    b. A gap or rift, especially in or as if in a solid structure such as a dike or fortification.
    2 A violation or infraction, as of a law, a legal obligation, or a promise.

    I think in this case we are all of the opinion that SCO is an arse (or ass if
    you prefer the American spelling).
  • by loucura! ( 247834 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:38PM (#6629680)
    [... snip out boring stuff...]

    Sources close to the controversy report hearing SCO CEO Darl McBride screaming and then loud thumps, before noting a non-descript black van leaving the SCO compound.

    Administration Spokesperson Dill Franken had this to say, "While we cannot reveal the identity of the individuals for reasons of National Security, we can safely say that we have thwarted a terrorist network in their attempts to threaten the government, and our way of life."

    He then went on to check his watch and remarked, "they should be arriving at Camp X-ray, right... about... now!" He then took some questions and concluded the press conference.
  • You know... (Score:5, Funny)

    by grasshoppa ( 657393 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:38PM (#6629681) Homepage
    ...it's stupid enough pissing on big blue's shoes, but when you start trying to bully the US government, you get called a terrorist, and we all know what happens then.
  • by mrseigen ( 518390 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:38PM (#6629684) Homepage Journal
    Don't worry, now that the US gov's on our side, they can relegate their best propagandists to coming up with SCO jokes.

    "Why did SCO cross the road?"
    "To get to the courtroom!"
    "BWA HA HA HA HA! That's a keeper"
  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:39PM (#6629688)
    Is there someone at SCO who got beaten up as a child? I believe the words spoken were, "Someday, I'll make them all pay... Just you watch."

    BTW - This post costs $1399 if I spell out more than L-I-...
  • Crap (Score:5, Funny)

    by pokka ( 557695 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:39PM (#6629699)
    Well this sucks. Has anyone hacked the Tivo yet to run Windows?
  • Re: SCO (Score:5, Funny)

    by Black Parrot ( 19622 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:41PM (#6629717)


    > Trying to piss EVERYONE off, are we, SCO?

    I heard they sent shake-down e-mail to Superman, Batman, and Darth Vader just before quitting time today.

    Glad I don't live in that neck of the woods.

  • by openbear ( 231388 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:43PM (#6629735)
    We need to update todays Slashdot poll to include the item:

    [x] Angry Tivo user torches SCO offices

    SCO will have to pry my TiVo (or the $32 license fee) from my cold dead hands
  • by The Zody ( 635829 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:43PM (#6629739)
    Thats impossable...Linux displays in retail stores? madness who could even think about that?
  • by Tumbleweed ( 3706 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:44PM (#6629750)
    Yep, they're about as refreshing as the Iraqi Information Minister! :)

    I think they've eaten too many Mentos. They're way too Fresh(tm). They may have, in fact, overdosed on Mentos. At least, that's what the coronor's report will read about 2 hours after the government actually takes notice of this.
  • by mrseigen ( 518390 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:44PM (#6629754) Homepage Journal
    3) Would someone please investigate the RIAA to see if they're using any Linux systems? Personally I'd love to see the RIAA and SCO duke it out in court instead of on consumers who have to settle on their terms...
    They're not Daleks! You can't kill them by running them into each other. With our luck, they'd probably combine into some sort of uber-litigious company and destroy all computer technology. We'd all be reduced to writing on stone tablets by fire!
  • by polaris852 ( 686050 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:44PM (#6629759)
    SCO wants $13 from anyone who has a shirt or sticker with the word Linux on it.... film at 11:00..
  • by DrCode ( 95839 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:45PM (#6629766)
    Don't forget 59 cents if you've bought a stuffed penguin.
  • by Dr_LHA ( 30754 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:45PM (#6629774) Homepage
    For charges related to purchasing alcohol based screen wipes due to excessive coffee stains splattered on computer monitor.
  • by alchemist68 ( 550641 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:45PM (#6629777)
    Ya know, the economy is pretty bad right now, for everyone. But you can't get law-suit happy when your profits go down. I don't know who is worse, the RIAA or SCO. They keep this up, the DOJ will set them straight in time. Meanwhile, The Borg are loving every minute of this, keeps businesses in the Borg Collective for a while longer, that is until people start to THINK for themselves again. Of course, there is always Apple and Mac OS X. The best of both worlds: able to run open-source software with a single recompile for X Windows, able to leap tall Wall Street needs by running M$ Office as the business world requires.

    WHACK!
  • by Alizarin Erythrosin ( 457981 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:46PM (#6629790)
    75 cents from people who have walked by Linux displays in retail stores.

    So that'll be an extra $7.50?
  • by arcanumas ( 646807 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:47PM (#6629798) Homepage
    Who would honestly be stupid enough to...

    SCO.

  • by someguy456 ( 607900 ) <someguy456@phreaker.net> on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:47PM (#6629805) Homepage Journal

    I'm guessing their going to step on Microsoft's toes. The evil of all evils has managed to keep intact for pretty long. The judicial system isn't even close. How bad could SCO be?


    In the end, I believe Microsoft will attack SCO with its army of clone lawyers, which will give the emperor Gates total power over the law...

    Wait a minute, the future [starwars.com] has already been told!


    No, but seriously though, SCo's probably just trying to get bought out by a big company, to ensure its future against linux

  • by mrpuffypants ( 444598 ) * <mrpuffypants@gm a i l . c om> on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:48PM (#6629814)
    Here's some things from their IP FAQ:

    Does the SCO IP License for Linux include a media kit?
    No. Nothing needs to be installed on the server or embedded device.

    Excellent. I just purchased $700 of nothing. That'll be easy to justify to the boss

    I have Linux servers deployed in my organization. What options do I have besides purchasing a SCO IP license?
    There are 3 options for you to evaluate:
    You have the option to do nothing, adopt a "wait and see" attitude, and hope that SCO is not serious about enforcing its intellectual property rights in the end user community.
    You can replace all servers, desktop and embedded uses of Linux.
    You can obtain a license from SCO to use SCO IP in binary form in Linux distributions

    Cover your ass, install Windows, or pay up, bitch!

    How are the licenses activated?
    Licenses are activated by registering the license with SCO and identifying the system covered by the license. The identification of the system can follow whatever identification conventions you use internally. (i.e., by name, by location, etc.)

    See your wallet becoming lighter? Good! Now you are compliant! Get on your knees!
  • by Vargasan ( 610063 ) <swhisken@rogers. c o m> on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:49PM (#6629824) Homepage
    Free 'vacation' to Cuba?
  • by Sim9 ( 632381 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:49PM (#6629828)
    Now you too can easily pay your expensive $32 license fee, in four easy installments of $8! :P
  • by ENOENT ( 25325 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:49PM (#6629830) Homepage Journal
    I have a weird uncle who is always going on about how he's going to sue the government about some dumb thing from back in the deep past. Now, SCO is turning into my weird uncle. Maybe I can get my weird uncle in touch with Darl McBride, and they can hang out. I'll have to send along enough medication for both of them.
  • by lostboy2 ( 194153 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:49PM (#6629833)
    And everyone named "Scott" now owes SCO $99 for embedded use of their name.

  • by phatcat625 ( 668966 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:50PM (#6629834) Journal
    How do you tax the taxman? These guys are going to die, fast. Homeland security needs to get on these terrorists.
  • by spamchang ( 302052 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:50PM (#6629840) Journal
    oh wait. the government doesn't need to countersue, it'll just prosecute for terrorism. what's this? oooooohh, tsk tsk. that's covered by the Patriot Act y'know. national security and all.


    in lieu of prosecution, i can hear DoD closed door proceedings now:

    "they want us to pay how much?"

    "...the 10th division moves at once."

  • by Antilles ( 49894 ) <jpatterson AT realtycenter DOT com> on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:52PM (#6629865)
    this one is up there with 'I invented teh intarweb'...
  • A story (Score:5, Funny)

    by Jeremi ( 14640 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:53PM (#6629878) Homepage
    Once upon a time there was a village in the countryside. It was a pleasant enough village, but there was no convenient source of running water. In order to get a drink of water, the villagers had to walk five miles to the nearest river, which was very inconvenient. So one day all the villagers got together and decided to build a water pipeline from the river to the village. Everybody pitched in, from the richest to the poorest. After several years of hard work, the pipeline was finished. Now everybody in the village could enjoy fresh, clean water any time they wanted, without having to trudge five miles. Everybody was happy.


    Then, one day, one of the villagers announced that certain pieces of the pipeline were his, and had been used without his permission. Because of that, he said, the pipeline belonged to him, and anybody who wanted to get water from it had to pay him ten dollars for each bucket of water they took from the pipeline. The villagers offered to replace his stolen pipe sections with their own spare sections, and return the stolen ones to him, but the villager didn't want that -- in fact, he refused to even tell the other villagers which sections were the stolen ones. "Just pay me the money you owe me", he said, "and I'll let you use my pipeline."


    The villagers gathered together again, to determine what to do about this new problem. After several minutes of debate, a plan was devised. That night, they went to the villager's house with torches and pitchforks, burned it to the ground, and fed the villager to the stray dogs.


    And they all lived happily ever after.


    The End.

  • by Jeremiah Cornelius ( 137 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:54PM (#6629890) Homepage Journal
    Ummm

    Where can I buy one o' them there SMP Tivos?

  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:54PM (#6629891)
    I've found SCO/Linux to be far superior to GNU/Linux. GNU/Linux sucks because its cheap.
  • by foooo ( 634898 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:54PM (#6629894) Journal
    I own a TiVo ... and fuck SCO!

    on a regular basis?

    I hope you didn't catch anything, god knows who SCO has been sleeping with.


    ~foooo
  • by Chordonblue ( 585047 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:56PM (#6629912) Journal
    Er.... You go to the house of pain?

    (Obscure Oingo Boingo reference) ;)
  • by mz001b ( 122709 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:56PM (#6629917)
    March 4th, 1989 was the day set forth that the government would start operating under the Constitution prior to that the government as we know it didn't exist and therefore cannot charge for freedom prior to that date.

    1989? really? wow, I didn't think Papa Bush did anything good during his tenure, but I guess I was wrong.

  • by Bobzibub ( 20561 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:57PM (#6629925)
    If one causes another's death, one can get the death penalty. What if one causes mere annoyance to millions and millions across the globe? Would that not also warrant the death penalty if the equivalent harm is done?

    Just asking.
    -b
  • Re:Congrats (Score:3, Funny)

    by WindBourne ( 631190 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:57PM (#6629930) Journal
    How many people will lose their jobs for championing $699 per processor Linux in their company?
    Hummmm. How much does XP Pro cost? add office + hardware upgrade + exchange cal + Virus software + 10 x admins + ..... and you are up to US$ 2000. So, worse case is 699 vs 2000.
    Linux still wins. woooo hoooo
  • by jmccay ( 70985 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:58PM (#6629943) Journal
    It seems SCO finally answered that stupid South Park mystery:

    1. Pretend to like linux and pay someone to put their own code in an open source company.
    2. *** Sue Everyone under the Sun and Moon ***
    3. PROFIT!!!!!!
  • by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @07:58PM (#6629946)
    Comment removed based on user account deletion
  • by NanoGator ( 522640 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:00PM (#6629961) Homepage Journal
    A couple of SCO reps knocked on my door this morning demanding I pay them. I just whipped out a Mentos and we all smiled.

  • REVELATION! (Score:4, Funny)

    by Max Threshold ( 540114 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:03PM (#6629986)
    Microsoft isn't behind SCO's nonsense. It's...

    (bum bum bum)

    Richard Stallman!

    It's all clear now. This high-profile case is part of a plot to undermine the concept of intellectual property and erase what little progress the lawyers have made in getting the general public to respect it. After this, it's going to be a joke; any time someone hears about an IP dispute, they're going to assume the plaintiff is just another extortionist.
  • by Black Parrot ( 19622 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:04PM (#6629994)


    > Everybody should call SCO now and demand

    Actually, we should all start mailing them Monopoly money, to pay for their equally fake IP.

  • by tarquin_fim_bim ( 649994 ) * on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:05PM (#6630005)
    But the constitution contains fragments of other documents which SCO owns.
  • by Austerity Empowers ( 669817 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:06PM (#6630012)
    Wooo, time to liberate SCO! I'll start printing the playing cards.
  • by Greyfox ( 87712 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:09PM (#6630031) Homepage Journal
    Maybe a class acton lawsuit against SCO on behalf of the thousands of people whose work they're trying to hijack is in order. And while we're on that subject, how about digging through their system binaries to make sure they're not also infringing on copyrights -- as lazy as programmers are and as abundant as free projects are, I wouldn't be surprised if some of their guys "borrowed" something somewhere.

    Even if those pig-fuckers had an airtight case, Debian-Hurd and Debian-BSD are an easy mkfs away. Do you think for one second that the kernel you're running makes a huge difference versus the software on top of it? And I'd go back to fucking CPM much more readily than I'd consider paying SCO's extortion money.

    (Yes, I said pig-fuckers. I think they get up on pigs and they fuck them. Squeeeeee! Anyone wanna disagree?)

  • Re:SCO (Score:5, Funny)

    by bluesangria ( 140909 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:09PM (#6630036)
    They've gone from seeming credible and aggressive to humorous and generally a giant joke.

    Maybe they're going for that "+5 Funny" mod on /.

  • by Llywelyn ( 531070 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:12PM (#6630056) Homepage
    I think we've all had to stop reading /. while eating or drinking anything in case there is SCO news on the front page.

    "SCO, a puddle of a company, takes on IBM, a gorilla in a business suit"

    "SCO decides to tackle the US Government"

    I keep expecting to sign on and see:

    "SCO sent out a press release titled: W3 0wnz0r 411 yuo pu|\|k @$$ b17ch3s"

  • by bopo ( 105833 ) * <bopo@n e r p .net> on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:12PM (#6630059) Homepage

    Is anyone else waiting for the televised press conference where the CEO or spokesperson or whoever starts banging on the podium with a shoe and screams "WE WILL BURY YOU!!!"? Is it just me?
  • by SigmaDelta ( 649096 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:15PM (#6630085)
    'All your Linux belong to us'... SCO.
  • by HotNeedleOfInquiry ( 598897 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:17PM (#6630094)
    I'd go back to fucking CPM much more readily than I'd consider paying SCO's extortion money

    Thank you sir, for the quote of the day.

  • by slugstone ( 307678 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:22PM (#6630130) Journal
    And Mr Clinton did something? Oh, I forgot about the interns.

    Never mind.
  • by Gherald ( 682277 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:23PM (#6630137) Journal
    You got the right guy, but wrong motive.

    RMS is really just paving the way for HURD !!!
  • by hpavc ( 129350 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:25PM (#6630152)
    agreed, before when sco was trying to make their worthless company worthsomething by threatening people so they would buy them out i wasnt annoyed. but now they are fucking with tivo and that just will not stand.

    i think its time for all the zombies to rise
  • by zerocool^ ( 112121 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:25PM (#6630154) Homepage Journal
    3) TO SEE PROOF of infringement

    Want to see proof??

    So do I. PinkFairies.org [pinkfairies.org] - Offering cash money for offending SCO code.

    Only in business 20 hours, and we're up over $47.00!!

    ~Will.

  • by hayden ( 9724 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:25PM (#6630158)
    I hope you didn't catch anything, god knows who SCO has been sleeping with.
    So lets monkey dance baaybee.
  • by gmkeegan ( 160779 ) <(gmkeegan) (at) (yahoo.com)> on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:27PM (#6630173)
    "Daryl McJagger, a spokesthing for SCO, summed up SCO's current situation, coining the phrase, 'Can't get no SCOtisfaction.' He further stated today that SCO has received a significant amount of negative feedback regarding the strict requirement of signing an extraordinarily restrictive NDA prior to being shown the proof that SCO intellectual property is present in current Linux code. According to Daryl, 'We impose this requirement because if we simply revealed the proof to the general public, a number of important intelligence sources would be compromised. We simply cannot allow the stockholders' interests to be put into jeopardy by allowing this proof to fall into any unsanctioned hands. The proof is on a need-to-know basis, and so far, no one needs to know."

    Mick Jagger was unavailable for comment.
  • In summary: (Score:5, Funny)

    by seanadams.com ( 463190 ) * on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:28PM (#6630182) Homepage
    Don't try to charge someone more than it'll cost to have you killed.

    Sorry, I forget the exact quote or where I heard it.
  • by flacco ( 324089 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:30PM (#6630198)
    if you could be a fly on the wall at SCO when they are coming up with this crap?

    i imagine each idea would start like this:

    (...bong-water bubble sounds...)

    (...pause...)

    (...exhale...)

    "Heeheehee... dude, check this one out, you are gonna freak:..."

    (...stifled chortling...)

  • Re:Crap (Score:5, Funny)

    by EpsCylonB ( 307640 ) <eps&epscylonb,com> on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:32PM (#6630208) Homepage
    Well this sucks. Has anyone hacked the Tivo yet to run Windows?

    A true example of how evil SCO are is seen when they bring a slashdotter to utter such a statement.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:35PM (#6630234)
    Call with in the next 10 minutes and they slash one payment.
  • by dpilot ( 134227 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:36PM (#6630242) Homepage Journal
    "Hello, my name is Linus Torvalds, and I pronounce Linux, Linux." (aka /usr/share/sndconfig/sample.au in RedHat)

    It's audio , so the RIAA needs to be in on this. If you've ever downloaded a RedHat Linux ISO, you've probably downloaded this audio file. This means you owe the RIAA and SCO.

  • Me too! (Score:5, Funny)

    by Eric Smith ( 4379 ) * on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:38PM (#6630261) Homepage Journal
    What a great business model, I think I'll use it too...

    If you're running MAME, you owe me $32. Pay up! MAME includes some code I wrote, in violation of the GPL license on my code. Unlike SCO, I'm actually willing to publicly identify which lines of code are at issue.

    I'm joking about the $32, although they really did violate my license. However, I'm NOT going to sue them. In fact, I think I'll grant the MAME project a license to use the code under the MAME license instead.

    So much for my chances of making billions of dollars on it! :-)

  • I think. (Score:2, Funny)

    by Tediak ( 249766 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:40PM (#6630279)
    I think someone needs a hug.

    And a sense of humor.
  • by IdleTime ( 561841 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:41PM (#6630286) Journal
    Not to mention where can I buy a PDA that is SMP enabled and uses RCU and NUMA architecture?

    How can SCO even think of demanding pay for embedded systems that don't even include the alledged copied code? I think I'm going to do the same, I'm sending a letter to all owners of a toilet demanding them to pay me a fee for each time they flush it since I own the copyright on flush buffer code snippets....
  • by mj01nir ( 153067 ) * on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:43PM (#6630305)
    LINDON, Utah-August 6, 2003-The SCO(R) Group (SCO) (Nasdaq: SCOX), the owner of the UNIX operating system, its derivatives, copies, and work-alikes as well as the methods, standards (de facto or de jure), and paradigms that encompass the UNIX operating system announced today that it has filed legal action against God (NYSE:GOD) in the State Court of Utah, for misappropriation of trade secrets, tortious interference, unfair competition and breach of contract. The complaint alleges that God has directly infringed upon SCO's UNIX intellectual property.

    In 1995, SCO purchased the rights and ownership of UNIX and UnixWare that had been originally owned by AT&T. This included source code, source documentation, software development contracts, licenses and other intellectual property that pertained to UNIX-related business. SCO became the successor in interest to the UNIX software licenses originally licensed by AT&T Bell Laboratories to all UNIX distributors, including HP, IBM, Silicon Graphics, Sun Microsystems, and many others.

    As a result of God's unfair competition and the marketplace injury sustained by SCO, SCO is requesting damages in an amount to be proven at trial, but no less than ownership of all existence, together with additional damages through and after the time of trial.

    SCO is also demanding that God cease these anti-competitive practices based on specific requirements sent in a notification letter to God. If these requirements are not met, SCO will have the authority to revoke God's license of creation as well as God's license to keep the cosmos in motion.

    SCO's letter and complaint have been filed by the law firm of Boies, Schiller and Flexner. SCO announced in January that the law firm had been retained to research and investigate possible violations of SCO's intellectual property.

    "SCO is in the enviable position of owning the UNIX operating system," said Darl McBride, president and CEO, SCO. "It is clear from our stand point that we have an extremely compelling case against God. SCO has more than 30,000 contracts with UNIX licensees and upholding these contracts is as important today as the day they were signed."

    A copy of SCO's complaint is on file with the State Court of Utah and can also be found at www.sco.com/scosource.

    Teleconference
    SCO has scheduled a teleconference regarding this announcement for 11:00 a.m. Eastern time on August 7, 2003.
  • by SmackCrackandPot ( 641205 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @08:47PM (#6630338)
    SCO announced that they would be attempting to shut down all network servers allowing users to download Linux patches and updates free of charge. They also mentioned that they would be offering a subscription service where users could download updates for $1 per file, and that they would also be resorting to legal action in order to make university network administrators disclose the names of students running illegal Linux systems on campus.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @09:00PM (#6630450)
    Done.


    In Soviet Russia, SCO pays YOU licensing fees!

  • by asit+ler ( 688945 ) * <asittler@@@brad-x...com> on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @09:02PM (#6630459)
    Don't forget the Californian City with SCO in its name, what's it called, San FranciSCO?
  • by MrSeb ( 471333 ) <mrseb AT mrseb DOT com> on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @09:02PM (#6630462) Homepage
    Hilary Rosen, obviously.
  • by Jaysyn ( 203771 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @09:11PM (#6630534) Homepage Journal
    I bet strippers hate you.

    Jaysyn
  • Re:SCO (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @09:14PM (#6630549)
    "My boyfriend, who would simply roll his eyes when I went on a rant about the evils of SCO and the threat to Linux....

    Marry me.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @09:23PM (#6630608)
    Since a corp it is almost a person could we actually get it declared legaly insane?

    Also they MAY find it a tad hard to sue the US goverment. As some of the law inside of patent law states that the goverment may use ANY IP it wishes to for 'national security reasons'. And if it is not patented well the goverment can say 'oh gee thats toooooo bad, what exactly are you sueing us for? Hmm maybe the SEC needs to see whats going on?'. Biiiiiiiiig old target for sure.

    So lets see they have torqed off. IBM, US goverment, Novell, Tivo, Red Hat, EFF, and every linux fan boy out there. Not a group I would want on my bad side. Oh this should get VERY interesting. Thought this soap opera had died down. This is almost as good as springer, and SCO has started waving a chair around.
  • by Pseudonym ( 62607 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @09:30PM (#6630661)

    Oh, no. It's way harder than that.

    First, the Department of Comedy Appropriations Committee commissions an analysis on the current state of government humor. They appoint a consulting firm to investigate the effectiveness of current jokes, baseline requirements for replacement jokes plus evaluation of the risks of producing new jokes.

    This report goes back to the committee who then approve the tender process. The tender duly goes out, where prospective contractors reply with details of past jokes, resumes of key comedy writers and detailed costings for writing of the joke.

    The proposals go back to a subcommittee which produces three recommendations to return to the appropriations committee. The recommendations are announced and subjected to three months of public comment. After this, the committee meets again and formulates a single proposal which is then sent to Congress for approval. The proposal sits in committee for three months, during which it is amended to include extra benefits for certain committee members' pet comedic projects. Once approved, the contractor is appointed.

    The contractor will almost certainly subcontract out some of the work, of course. If the joke requires a pun, for example, they will work closely with a specialised synophonic engineering corporation. At each stage, of course, the oversight committee must reconvene to approve the new subcontractor and possible budgetary implications.

    After six months comes the first deliverable: a detailed design document outlining the scope of the joke, full details on how the joke is to be delivered, any training which the joke's target audience may have to receive beforehand, plus a full analysis of the joke's structure. Once this is approved, the joke moves to the comedy writers, who proceed to write a prototype joke. This is then sent out to simulated audiences where the prototype joke is tested for comedic effectiveness. The results of the tests are sent back to the comedy engineers who then rework the joke.

    By this time, the Department of Comedy's Appropriations Secretary has been replaced. When the new secretary reviews the project, they see problems. Certain humorous allusions which are vital to the success of any replacement jokes have not been factored in. The project specifications are changed and new project deadlines are set. The prototype joke is amended, however, in the process, the new joke loses some of its satirical quality. After obtaining approval for more budget, a new quality assurance oversight group is commissioned to audit the joke and the writing process.

    Once the new joke has been fully audited, it is ready for field testing. Specialised test comedians are employed to determine the joke's comedic value, plus to determine the most effective mode of delivery under various comedic conditions.

    Finally, the joke is delivered, six months late and millions of dollars over budget, along with 26 volumes of JokeSpec-compliant supporting documentation. After a further round of testing by Department of Comedy test comedians, the joke is approved and ready for initial field deployment. At first the joke is used carefully at informal meetings. When problems are found, comedy writers are shipped out on-site to fix minor wording issues.

    After six months of this, the joke is ready for prime-time use.

    I'd tell you what the joke actually is, but unfortunately I'm under an NDA. Sorry.

  • Do you folks remember "Mr. Rogers Neighborhood"? Of course you do.

    One of the closest things the 'Land of Make Believe' had to a "bad guy" was this annoying dude who had this book. In the book he would draw pictures of all of the things that were his.

    Whenever he would see something he wanted, he would sit down, and draw it in his book, even it it wasn't his.

    Then he'd run around yelling, "THAT'S MINE! SEE! IT'S IN MY BOOK! IT BELONGS TO ME! MINE!!!"

    SCO, this is what YOU are behaving like.

    Just because you have some code in your book that looks like ours, that doesn't mean its yours.

    Please, won't you be our neighbor?
  • by Atario ( 673917 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @09:32PM (#6630670) Homepage
    It seems to be recording small snippets of news programs wherein SCO is mentioned. It also automatically puts three "thumbs downs" on each one.
  • Uh oh (Score:5, Funny)

    by Sycraft-fu ( 314770 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @09:34PM (#6630681)
    You just admitted to Slahsdot, a crowd of largely single male geeks that:

    1) You are female.

    2) You are a geek.

    3) Your boyfriend is NOT a geek.

    Better hope your home address isn't easy to find you'll find him dangling from the roof tied up in Cat-5 cable and a line of geeks wating to woo you. ;)
  • http://www.sco.com/company/feedback/index.html visit their webpage and tell them were they can stick their license fees.
    An ASCII goatse.cx guy [goatse.cx] would be perfect material to drop into this webform a few thousand times, and would be a fine suggestion as to where $CO can put its license fees...

    (Yes, it's the ASCII version and not the normal nastiness...link courtesy of Wikipedia [wikipedia.org].)

  • The post-comment page says

    "You will be hearing from us soon"

    hahahaha, the joke's on them!

    good luck finding scoblows@goatse.cx... poor schmuck
  • by Dimensio ( 311070 ) <darkstar@LISPiglou.com minus language> on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @09:44PM (#6630754)
    I said that I did not feel that $699 was fair with respect to the level of infringement that they allege in the kernel given that they have not yet proven their claims and that I don't even use an SMP kernel. I decided to negotiate, and I offered them "the finger".

    In the event that they can show that their SMP code is indeed in the Linux kernel, I offered to remove said code -- since I don't use it anyway -- and I offered "the finger" again, since I have two hands.
  • Re:SCO (Score:3, Funny)

    by jcsehak ( 559709 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @09:48PM (#6630783) Homepage
    Why do you assume that the guy who responded isn't a gay male? Seems awfully insensitive to me...
  • Careful! (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @09:58PM (#6630846)
    I think they hold the license to /usr/bin/finger!
  • by PCeye ( 661091 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @10:00PM (#6630855)
    SCO is demanding $0.23 from everyone who has seen a penguin at the zoo.
  • I disagree (Score:4, Funny)

    by jcsehak ( 559709 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @10:00PM (#6630857) Homepage
    (Yes, I said pig-fuckers. I think they get up on pigs and they fuck them. Squeeeeee! Anyone wanna disagree?)

    I was thinking, "uncle-fuckers."
  • by keepr ( 613447 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @10:05PM (#6630889) Homepage
    SCO has a new Corporate Slogan: "BONZIA!"
  • by flacco ( 324089 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @10:15PM (#6630947)
    ...but I put it in a secret hiding place somewhere inside of SCO's office building.

    I'm sorry, I can't divulge the location of the $32 at this time. I am willing to provide a set of scavenger hunt clues to selected, disinterested parties who are willing to sign an NDA, though...

  • by Tackhead ( 54550 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @10:16PM (#6630956)
    > Hmm... it seems that SCO is in dire need of a checkup from the neck up.

    Why? I've already seen goatse.cx!

    > Very quickly, SCO is becoming a household word. A four letter word.

    Sometimes I wonder if Microsoft isn't keeping SCO on life support for any reason other than the fact that Darl McBride gives us someone to hate more than Bill Gates.

    > As far as I'm concerned, SCO can go SCO itself.

    Preach it, brother. I never thought I'd see a company hated more than Microsoft, but McBride and SCO aren't worthy to lick the sweat from Ballmer's armpits. Every day I read the financial press. And every day I just. don't. get. it.

    Microsoft vs. DOJ - we all like to bash Billgatus, but two people could sit down over a beer and debate whether the courts are the right way to deal with monopolies, or which practices of Microsoft's were "illegal" and which were merely "hardball".

    RAMBUS vs. Micron, Infineon, Dramurai - hey, at least some of RAMBUS' claims were plausible, and even if they played marginally dirty pool at the IEEE meetings, two people could sit down over a beer and have a legitimate debate over who invented DDR, and if the patent might also legitimately apply to SDRAM.

    SCO vs. Whoever They Sued This Hour - closest thing to a debate you can have here is you and your buddy just keep drinking beer after beer, going "What the fuck? What the fucking fuck fuck?!"

  • by Esion Modnar ( 632431 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @10:25PM (#6631018)
    now they are fucking with tivo

    Now all SCO needs to do, to really annoy and irritate everybody, is find some beer and pretzel companies who use Linux, and demand license fees.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @10:28PM (#6631035)
    Does anyone else find the 'theme' of the 2003 SCO forum (top right of their page) [sco.com] interesting? Silhouette of threatening guy with automatic pistol.
  • Re:Hotline (Score:3, Funny)

    by autopr0n ( 534291 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @10:30PM (#6631042) Homepage Journal
    They've also started a hotline. 1-800-382-5633. Tell 'em what you think.

    Is it a coincidence that their hotline number is 1-800-fuck-off?
  • by crazyphilman ( 609923 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @10:33PM (#6631061) Journal
    Yeah, no kidding... What is WRONG with these people? Do they not see the beating they're going to get for all this? People aren't going to be satisfied with putting them out of business... Anyone with SCO on their resume is going to end up being a pariah for LIFE.

    I think of this as a sort of tragicomedy:

    Scene: A really rough biker bar.
    Crowd: About two dozen gigantic, violent, biker types. Some are playing pool, a couple are fistfighting in the back room, one or two others are throwing foot-long bowie knives at a dartboard.

    Wham! The swinging door opens, hitting one biker's girlfriend on the shoulder. A midget in a three-piece suit scampers in.

    Midget: "Hey, all you bikers! Look at all that leather! You suck! Don't you know you guys are a gay fetish???

    The music stops with a scratching record sound. About twenty heads swivel around and stare at the midget. He scampers over to a chair, climbs up on it with little huffing and puffing sounds, and gets up on the bar. He starts kicking over everyone's drinks.

    Midget: "Damnit, I invented leather clothes! All you weird gay fuckers owe me some MONEY! Pay up or I'm going to kick all your asses, then I'm going to fuck all your ugly, trailer-park bitches! You're going to have a bunch of little midget kids in nine months, you pansies!"

    Biker #1: "Hey, guys -- it's kinda hard to tell, because I just dropped a tab of windowpane, but... Am I tripping, or is there a weird little fucking midget yelling at me?"

    Bartender: "Yep, There's a weird little midget. Don't get any blood on my bar, ok? I just resurfaced it..."

    Biker #2: "Not to worry, Danny boy, We'll take the little scamp outside and have a chat with him. Mind if we borrow your pony bat?"

    Bartender: "Nah, here ya go. Mind the nail there, it's rusty."

    Bikers #3, #4, #5, #6 (holding the squirming midget by his arms and legs): "Ok, you mouthy little fuck, it's time to go..."

    Midget: "MMmpth takth thith gagth out of my moupth! You phuckerth are gonna getth itth!"

    Biker #1: "Hey, you wanna ball gag? That dirty bar rag ain't gonna shut him up fer long..."

    (outside) WHOMP POUND BANG BANG STOMP CRASH CRUSH

    You have to wonder what is going through their MINDS! I mean, really. Don't most creatures have at least SOME sense of self-preservation???

  • by autopr0n ( 534291 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @10:37PM (#6631104) Homepage Journal
    But their actual phone number is 1-800-726-8649, which equates to 1-800-RAM-UNIX (and 1-800-SCO-UNIX but we'll ignore that)
  • by Gleng ( 537516 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @10:51PM (#6631251)
    email:

    abuse@microsoft.com (fitting, I thought)

    message:

    With regards to the recent issues with infringing code in the linux kernel:

    There's an object of mine in your house. I'm not telling you what it is, or where it is, but it's there, I promise.

    I'm not going to identify the object, but I am going to request that you pay me $700 for the continued use of your house.

    You may, if you wish, sign an NDA to find out the identification of the object, but under the terms of the agreement, you'll never be allowed inside another house again for the rest of your life.

    Alternately, you can agree to waive the licensing fees for the Linux kernel and we can call it even, ok?
  • by starX ( 306011 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @10:52PM (#6631277) Homepage
    1) When is the torching of the SCO offices mentioned in the poll going to take pace?

    2) Should I bring a few extra torches?

    3) Is it a BYOP (Bring Your Own Pitchfork) party?

  • by lscotte ( 450259 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @11:13PM (#6631463)
    Awww crap!
  • by PetoskeyGuy ( 648788 ) on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @11:42PM (#6631689)
    What happens to people who pay? Do people get their money back?

    The sorry dolts who pay the license will get interviewed by WIRED just like that poor dude who never got his penis enlargement pills.

    "They had a contract for me to sign, everything looked so official I thought they were legitiment."

    If you feel the need to part with some money find your favorite open source project and send the developer(s) a check. When all is said and done, Linux will still be there, and will still be free to use, but you may be out some money for a license to a non-existent company. Who knows though, years from now SCO Licenses will be valuable collectors items.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 06, 2003 @11:46PM (#6631717)
    Many questions, few answers

    Hard to see the Dark Side is.
  • Re:Uh oh (Score:3, Funny)

    by Groo Wanderer ( 180806 ) <charlieNO@SPAMsemiaccurate.com> on Thursday August 07, 2003 @12:02AM (#6631831) Homepage
    Better hope your home address isn't easy to find you'll find him dangling from the roof tied up in Cat-5 cable and a line of geeks wating to woo you. ;)

    By woo, I assume you mean have them stand in the corner, facing away from her, with their knees almost touching, trembling with fear, making low moaning noises that sound like 'Woooooooo'. That I'd buy.

    -Charlie
  • by PetoskeyGuy ( 648788 ) on Thursday August 07, 2003 @12:04AM (#6631852)
    I just cut and pasted the linux kernel sources into their feedback form. I was going to give them back just the infringing parts but since I couldn't find them I figured the whole source tree would be best.

    I wonder how big their feedback database can grow.
  • by Jucius Maximus ( 229128 ) on Thursday August 07, 2003 @12:15AM (#6631928) Journal
    " Does anyone else find the 'theme' of the 2003 SCO forum (top right of their page) interesting? Silhouette of threatening guy with automatic pistol."

    I'd say it's more ironic than funny:

    After the lawsuit ...

    IBM to SCO: Do you feel lucky today? Well do ya?!?

  • by whorfin ( 686885 ) on Thursday August 07, 2003 @12:42AM (#6632076)
    I hope you didn't catch anything, god knows who SCO has been sleeping with.

    Well, I'd say based on their behavior, SCO hasn't had any for a while.
  • by 0x0d0a ( 568518 ) on Thursday August 07, 2003 @01:00AM (#6632178) Journal
    Dammit, if only they'd go after the RIAA. So many problems would be solved.
  • Today's feedback to SCO...

    Dear Company,

    Being the owner, administrator, user and programmer of many Linux boxes, I hereby disagree to your Linux License program and any fees implied/expressed therein.

    In short. F\-/ck y0ur l4me 4ss of a company based on a l4wsuits business model. You'll have to pry this money from my cold, carpal tunneled hands. typos made to try to bypass angry filters.

    Have a nice day.
  • by wwwillem ( 253720 ) on Thursday August 07, 2003 @01:54AM (#6632437) Homepage
    Now that SCO is going into the 'Linux License' business, may I presume they made a big show and had a large stand at Linux World this week? :-)

    Biggest mistake of the week: NOT inviting them as a keynote speaker. With this summer heat, there must be cases, cases and cases full of tomatoes waiting for a better use than eating or rotting.

    On a different note:

    Still wondering why Americans are still searching those weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. It's getting time for UN inspections in US lawyer's offices, jury rooms and court houses. What happens there is real mass destruction. And unfortunately, you are by now exporting these filthy habits. It is all so disruptive, and you all (from CNN to /.) enjoy it so much. The huge /. crowd replying to this topic, is IMHO not just because of concern for Linux freedom. It is the same as CNN loving terrorism and war. It's sick!!!

  • by trisweb ( 690296 ) on Thursday August 07, 2003 @02:16AM (#6632529) Journal
    *Fill in*...

    *submit* ... *back*

    Hmmm... form is still filled in...

    *submit* ... *back*

    ... *submit* ... *back* *submit* *back* *submit* *back* *submit* *back*...

    There's got to be a better way...

    *View->Source*

    Heh heh heh heh heh...
  • by Michael Hunt ( 585391 ) on Thursday August 07, 2003 @02:18AM (#6632534) Homepage
    Dammit, someone should tell the MPAA that their James Bond copyright is being 0wned by SCO.

    Jack Valenti: "Yes, you can license Mr. Bond's likeness for your crappy convention, for the sum of $699 per attendee. More per attendee if any attendee has two heads, three arms, or other 'enterprise' features."

    Darl: "Urk...."
  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday August 07, 2003 @02:31AM (#6632581)
    My name is Steve, the first letter of which is "S." I have noticed that the name of your company also begins with the letter "S". I have been using "S" as the first letter of my name for over 33 years. In addition, my family name contains the substring "CO".

    Obviously your company has copied these letters verbatim in an attempt to pass them off as an original work of art. My counsel agrees that the letters "S", "C", and "O", which your company is using in the acronym "SCO", is an unauthorized derivative work and infringes on my IP rights.

    I have recently sent letters to 18,324,102 individuals and companies whose names also contain the letters "S", "C" and "O" and informed them that they may be violating my intellectual property rights. At this time, I am announcing a licensing program for companies and individuals who wish to use the letters "S", "C" and "O". Until October 15, 2003, I am offering an introductory license price of $1 for an individual license and $100 for a cooperate license.

    I believe it is necessary for companies and individuals to license my IP if they are using the letters "S", "C" and "O" in their name. The license insures that customers continue their use of the letters "S", "C" and "O" without violating my intellectual property rights.
  • hmmmmm (Score:1, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday August 07, 2003 @02:34AM (#6632599)
    Doesnt this belong in the Give-me-that-red-hot-poker-so-I-can-shove-it-up-my -own-ass dept?

    How are they planning to collect on any of this? It seems to me you have to prove a legal claim before you can collect on it.

    OK, so lets say that I'm Brett Person, which is who I am, and I had built a computer in the 1970's and Id called it the "person computer" Could I have sued IBM and gotten a $1.00 for eavh personal computer. I doubt it. Even though if I had done it in the early 60's I could have claimed some right to the name "personal" computer as IP.
    I clearly didnt do this and I\m clearly not IBM.

    This is just another sign of how crappy the computer industry is becoming.
    Linux is being targeted by sco because the name looks like Unix
    Lets say I like to drink SCOtch, will I be sued for Infringement? What if my parents had made a poor choice and named me SCOtt?
    If there really is a problem gere, lets see what it is.

    I could probably have bought the possibility of the IBM sco thing, but sueing people who own Ticos or LinHandhelds is just plain wierd. Its not live these people loaded Linux on the device or even know that it is there.
  • by JaredOfEuropa ( 526365 ) on Thursday August 07, 2003 @04:44AM (#6633040) Journal
    I don't understand why you insist on receiving revenue when everyone is willing to correct the code *immediately*.


    Answer from SCO: "because we like receiving revenue!" (This falls firmly into the 'duh' category)
  • by gujo-odori ( 473191 ) on Thursday August 07, 2003 @05:02AM (#6633077)
    Not him, though. He'd want money from everybody who went in there.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday August 07, 2003 @06:24AM (#6633331)
    I think it's pretty safe. They're *trying* to bend a lot of people over - but they don't seem to be getting anywhere. Hrmm.. kinda reminds me of most of the geek population. ;-)

    -AC
  • by vaxer ( 91962 ) <sylvar&vaxer,net> on Thursday August 07, 2003 @07:23AM (#6633501) Homepage
    ...because I said I'd pay their extortion demand the day Hell froze over, or a goatse.cx link was modded +5, whichever came first!
  • by ralatalo ( 673742 ) on Thursday August 07, 2003 @08:22AM (#6633724)
    My best guess is that they are baddly in need of money and/or they realized that they have been
    following the long tradition of ignoring their baby and the longer they ignored it the worse the case against them would be when they started to try and collect. Probably more the first than the second.

    Interestingly Enough, SCO has admitted in various interviews that they don't own the IP ( Patent/CopyRight) that IBM put into linux, IBM does. They just believe that IBM broke it's contract with them when IBM did it. So, if they don't own it and they terminated IBM's license doesn't that mean that they will have to remove the IP from their code since IBM owns it?

    Shouldn't the best case for SCO be, IBM losing and needing to pay them for breaking the contract. Then SCO either removing the IBM IP or licensing the IP from IBM?

  • by AtomicSnarl ( 549626 ) on Thursday August 07, 2003 @08:57AM (#6633900) Homepage
    "The directors, employees, and stockholders of the Ford Motor Company were arrested for RICO criminal conspiracy to commit felony. Their products have been used in thousands of bank robberies, kidnappings, and other heinous crimes for over 70 years. This history of felonious intent is clear from the long record of criminal praise and adulation for Ford products. No less than the murderous Bonnie and Clyde publicly praised Ford products in the 1930s for their power, speed, and reliability in fleeing the police, and the use of Ford products in criminal activities continue to this day."
  • by jd ( 1658 ) <imipak@yahoGINSBERGo.com minus poet> on Thursday August 07, 2003 @08:57AM (#6633902) Homepage Journal
    I've sent a few intelligent e-mails of my own, but came to the conclusion that the lifeforms that inhabit the SCO entity do not conform to the Turing requirements.

Intel CPUs are not defective, they just act that way. -- Henry Spencer

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